The lighter side of Albania

Through a twist of fate and the willingness of a tiny school in Albania to once again host over 40 middle school students from all over Europe, the Kielbasa Chronicle made a return trip to Tirana this year. I remember last year, tearing the four pages out of my tattered Eastern Europe guidebook, thinking I would only have to research Albanian words, food, and directions once in my life. After all, this tiny bunker-strewn wasteland is not exactly known as a tourist hot-spot. The food is great, the weather is mild this time of year, but clean and orderly it is definitely not.

Despite having made the same trip last year, five of the twelve kids on the cross country team made the return voyage, so they must have had a good time. We also brought along the czar of CEESA athletics and our athletic director, Jim Matter. My assistant coach from last year, Rachel, could not make the trip since she had a baby a few months ago, so the new addition to the coaching staff, who absolutely loved the trip, was Barbara, our middle school German teacher.

After four years, and missing it by a whisker a couple times, the boys’ team brought home the championship trophy, and their coach couldn’t have been prouder. The great thing about working with kids this age is that they have almost no experience to draw upon, so there is also little fear of failure. Just go out and run for the fun of it. Being on the trip is reward enough. It’s certainly a far cry from the days of coaching high school cross country where the season started Aug. 12 and ended the last weekend in October, with the kids running six days a week. We needed to employ all kinds of strategies, from bowling nights to camp-outs, just to keep the kids engaged. I have many good memories of those years, but don’t miss the level of commitment required.

It was a stress-free trip with a great bunch of kids who were so much fun to travel with. Sometimes teenagers have tendency to whine when things aren’t so entertaining, but this group was complaint free. The adults were also, and we even found time to rent a bus for an afternoon on the Albanian coast. After driving many air-condition deprived miles down potholed roads and passing through countryside which probably hadn’t changed in 50 years, we arrived at a remote beach, inhabited by only us foreigners and the staff of a tiny restaurant & seaside cabana rental. The fresh seafood dinner was phenomenal, as we enjoyed the company of our fellow coaches from Budapest, Moscow, Prague, and Zagreb. We all had to agree that middle school cross country was by far the most relaxing sport to coach.

Beauties and Beer Tents

The Warsaw Open, a stop on the ATP Tour for some of the world's great female tennis players, commenced this week. The tennis gods smiled down upon tour organizers and this reporter when former world #1 ranked player, and Russian uber-babe, Maria Sharapova decided to use the tournament to launch her comeback from a shoulder injury that has sidelined her for over 9 months.

A couple friends and I hustled out of work in order to catch the end of her match against an Italian, Tathiana Garbin, and were lucky enough to see Sharapova blow three match points in the second set. This allowed us to actually find our seats and enjoy the third set which she ended up winning 6-3. The reigning queen of grunts did not disappoint:

She has been measured at over 100 decibels on the grunt-o-meter, the equivalent of standing near a police car with its blaring siren. The evolution of grunting in tennis is chronicled in great detail here by the BBC. Sharapova owes a great deal to the pioneer of the grunt in women's tennis, Monica Seles.

Also, last week, on a sun-drenched Friday afternoon, the hard-working folks at AS-dub convened for a faculty social at the nearest oasis, just off the bike-trail leading to school. We at the Chronicle would never condone drinking and cycling, and Polish law is quite strict in this regard, but there's great comfort to be found in enjoying good beer, good food, and good company after only pedaling a couple short kilometers from school. Patio culture is certainly one area where this country is leaps and bounds ahead of my former homeland.

Are you moving back now?

I've been asked that question by a few of my friends back in the U.S. since G.W. made his final flight off into the sunset. The definitive answer for this is a resounding "NO!". I'm absolutely shocked at some of the things I've been reading about the educational funding cuts slated for 2009. This does nothing too instill confidence that there will be sweeping reforms designed to undo the damage of NCLB anytime soon.

Anyhow, how about that inauguration? Here in Warsaw, we gathered at the Hard Rock along with some U.S. Embassy folk to get our glimpse of history on the monstrous plasma screen. It really was an occasion that made me proud.

I was also happy to be sharing the moments with some friends from other countries, i.e. Australia, Ireland, Canada, Sweden, and of course Poland. This certainly made me a bit more conscious of how the rest of the world must view all the hoopla surrounding a change in leadership. Some random observations:

• Whatever happened to the separation of church and state? I am fully aware that there must be a higher power up there, over there, wherever, but isn't religion supposed to be between myself and God? Government shouldn't be telling me when to pray. However, with the severity of the economic crisis, now might be a good time to start.
  

• That Rick Warren guy sounded creepy. "And his daughters, Maleeeeea and Saaasha . . ." made my skin crawl.

• Aretha Franklin would've sounded better singin' this number. She and Obama could've done some sort of duet song and dance.

• Speaking of dance, this was a great vid on youtube. I just wish that Beyonce would've launched into "Bootylicious" after this poignant moment. And it's in High-Def, no less!

• Could there have been a more fitting image to epitomize the legacy of this administration?
  

Signing Day . . .

Today was the last day for teachers to sign their contracts for the 2009-2010 school year. After a lengthy holdout and some high pressure negotiations between my agent and the general manager of the school, I have decided to stay with the organization for the foreseeable future. This was my first year as a restricted free agent so AS-Dub would have had to match or exceed any lucrative offers from other schools.

There was some interest from teams in Asia, but the only serious offer was a three school sign and trade with the International School of Zimbabwe and Hong Kong International School. They were offering three first-round draft picks and a P.E. teacher to be named later. Rumors abound that this was to be the crafty southpaw, Ken Schwartz of Hong Kong. But my agent invoked the no-trade clause based on Zimbabwe's 11.2 million percent rate of inflation and the uncontrolled cholera epidemic. So it just made sense to resign with one of the classiest organizations in international education rather than take my chances on the open market. It also gives me the privilege to keep performing for the best fans in the world right here in Poland.

Other teachers waited until the waning minutes of the signing period as the clock inched closer to 4:oo PM today. Most are staying put due to the favorable collective bargaining agreement forged with management for the 2009-2010 season. Financial stability in an uncertain economic climate is something you can't take for granted. After all the drama involved in the signing period, I think the pieces will remain in place to make a championship run next year. But we're just taking it one class at a time. Thanks for reading. Have a good weekend!

Wanted: Teachers willing to relocate to faraway lands

It's that time of year again where I make the yearly plea to my stateside colleagues encouraging them to try teaching abroad. The last couple years resulted in two of my friends attending job fairs in Iowa and San Francisco, with both of them ending up in sunny Ecuador. The Chronicle is happy to report that D who worked down the hall from me in Middleton (Idaho) and K, who I used to work with at Green Mill in Fargo have found enormous job satisfaction and endless adventures near that imaginary line dividing the hemispheres. In fact, sources close to the KC say one of them (luckily the one that is not married) has even found a cross-cultural romance which might lead to a contract renewal for next year.

Are there any educators out there willing to take the plunge in 2009? It is astonishing how many international schools are opening up around the globe. One statistic published by The International Educator put the number of international schools in 2000 at 1,700. At the beginning of 2008, there were over 5,000. I will admit that not a small number of these are fly by night operations in dangerous geographic locales. They span the globe and even the alphabet from A (Azerbaijan and even Afghanistan) to Z (Zambia and Zimbabwe), so it pays to conduct thorough research before you land that dream job in the Grand Cayman Islands or Costa Rica. You could end up signing a contract to spend the next two years of your life in Kabul.


Even though I am thousands of miles from the nearest beach and Jack Frost is about to start farting white stuff all over Poland this weekend, the last couple years have been an amazing adventure both personally and professionally. Sure, the Polish winters are frigid and unfailingly bleak, but I consider myself quite fortunate to have ended up here at AS Dub. And if any readers out there in the business of teaching children are tired of it being just that, a "business", then write to the editors at the Chronicle and we will be happy to give you advice on how to get started on a career overseas. After all, I think Obama has too much on his plate to worry about trivial matters such as class sizes and a yearly raise for teachers that exceeds the rate of inflation. But don't delay, deadlines for registering at job fairs at the University of Northern Iowa (deadline: January 9th), San Francisco (January 5th), and Cambridge, MA.

Well, that's the spiel for this year. I hope we can report again on a successful candidacy around February after recruitment season. Thanks for reading!

Thoughts on Italy, Obama, and the closing of Damascus Community School

It's been a long time since I poured out the contents of my grey matter onto this keyboard. Since then, it's been quite an eventful couple of weeks with a trip to Tuscany, an historical election, and the political expulsion of some colleagues down in Syria. All of these are worth their own separate blog entry in the Chronicle but since there is a lot more going on in the near future, I will cover all of these issues en masse.

First of all, let me say that I have a newfound love of Italy. Being able to spend a whole week in the northern part of the country opened my eyes to both the natural and man-made wonders of Tuscany. This was my second trip to "the boot of the Mediterranean" and the first I was inspired to write extensively about. Longtime readers will remember a trip to Rome with my brother Dave and the parents back in the spring of 2007, but that entry focused mainly on the beauty of Slovenia and a tearful family reunion. I can say that I was awe-inspired by the world famous scenes of historical importance such as the Coliseum, Forum, and Pantheon or the extraordinary religious significance of the Vatican. However, the real beauty of Italy lies in the culinary delights, vineyards, and the idea of "la dolce vita" (the sweet life) that is the very essence of the Italian countryside.

Our trip started with some gorgeous weather in the Cinque Terre, a collection of five rustic seaside villages dotting the Italian Riviera. The three days we spent there consisted of hiking the trails along the cliffs, sipping the acclaimed white wine produced in the region, devouring anything dipped in pesto, and trying to avoid the disciples of Steves.



Okay, I will admit that I enjoy the Rick Steves guidebook series. His refreshing takes on how to travel through "the back door" by focusing more on the holistic experience of travel rather than a checklist of landmarks, churches, and museums are a philosophy everyone should subscribe to. Be that as it may, the followers of Rick Steves' books have become victims of his success. It seemed that wherever we went in the Cinque Terre, per his recommendation, we found my fellow Americans. The majority of those encountered were quite pleasant and it was enjoyable to chat with people about where they were from, including the lady from Blaine, Minnesota who was on sabbatical from her teaching job for a stint teaching at a boarding school in Switzerland. I also had the chance to converse with a fellow North Dakota State alum in San Gimignano after inquiring about whether she was Canadian or Minnesotan. You can't miss that accent. Okay, I shall digress, since the more I consider things, I'm coming to the conclusion that I should appreciate the fact that Americans are not letting the terrorists win by cowering in fear back at home. (This last statement was with tongue firmly in cheek).

Pisa was one of the definite highlights of the trip even though we were enjoying it under a torrential downpour. Seeing one of the most recognizable sights anywhere on the globe had an almost mythical quality about it. This feeling was quickly replaced by bewilderment associated with countless people striving for that perfect picture of them keeping the tower from falling over.

Not much hasn't already been written about the aesthetic virtues of Florence, so I won't even make an attempt except to say that it does deserve another visit. Our itinerary only allowed for one day of sightseeing there though it was our base of operations for three days. I have no idea how insane the crowds must be in the summer time months, and am in no hurry to find out. Crowds were thick even in the low season of late October.





We also visited Sienna, a fantastic historical rival to the larger Florence, and surrounded by the rolling vineyards of Tuscany. We took advantage of the inexpensive Chianti which flows like water but still managed to trudge 360 steps to the top of the town hall tower for a stunning view of the countryside.

Tuscany managed to meet the sky high expectations created by the endless guide book hyperbole. With so many sights to see in Europe, and having an open-ended tour of duty here, a repeat visit will have to wedged in there somewhere, especially with the election restoring some modicum of goodwill towards the American people.


Yes, I must say, my faith has been restored in democracy and my apathy towards the political process in general has ebbed to a historical low point after reaching an all-time peak in 2004. Even if Obama fails to deliver on most of his promises and the impending financial crisis and military quagmire extinguish this upwelling of hope, at least we have shown that anything is possible in the US of A.


With that being said, old W still has more than two months to really muck things up for his successor. He has already had a direct impact on the careers of four former ASW colleagues. The military operation conducted within Syria's borders caused a slight backlash leading to the closure of the Damascus Community School. Two couple that I had worked with here in Poland were told they had 48 hours to pack their bags and get out of the country. I guess a six month paid vacation is not so bad but now they have to go back to one of the international job fairs and go through the cattle call once again.

Congrats to Danielle and Dave in Ecuador! They have decided to extend their contract for another year of adventure on the middle of the globe. And it sounds like Dave is studying to become a teacher too. It's a good life. Thanks for reading! Happy Independence Day to all my Polish readers and to all those stateside, thank a veteran. Do widzenia . . .

Making history in Albania . . .

Last year around this time, the Chronicle reported from frigid Ukraine after taking the ASW middle school cross country team to the capital, Kiev. As we strive to push the touristic envelope by squiring you, the reader, to the deepest, darkest, least visited corners of Europe as well as the more popular destinations, the Kielbasa sports editor was sent to Tirana, Albania a couple weeks ago.

"Why Tirana?" you may be asking, as well as a few parents concerned about their child's safety. Well, think of CEESA (the Central Eastern European Schools Association) as a sports league, in the same vein as major league baseball except without the steroids and exorbitant payrolls. Schools in Warsaw, Moscow, Prague, Budapest, Istanbul and Bucharest have outstanding facilities for hosting the team sports, i.e. soccer, basketball, volleyball, and softball. These are the New York Yankees and Boston Red Sox of international schools, which operate on healthy budgets but charge twelve dollars for a beer and a hot dog. Oh wait, that's still baseball.

International schools in cities such as Vilnius, Tallin, Riga, Zagreb, and Belgrade are the small market teams, the Minnesota Twins, Milwaukee Brewers, and Kansas City Royals if you will. They lack the facilities to host the major tournaments so they take turns hosting smaller events such as tennis, Math Counts, Knowledge Bowl and Speech and Debate. Oh yeah, and cross country too. It doesn't take much to host a cross country meet except a big park, some road construction cones, and a few volunteers.

So consider a school like Tirana International to be the Nashville Sounds, a AAA affiliate of MLB. They want to be invited to the major leagues but have to prove themselves worthy by hosting an event. Which is why the Chronicle sports department was witness to the first ever cross country race in Albania's history:





One of the more fascinating, albeit tragic, reminders of Albania's isolationist past are the bunkers that dot the landscape from the coastal beaches to the rugged mountain terrain. Everywhere you look, there are small, cylindrical concrete shelters large enough for only one man. Albania's Stalinist dictator, Enver Hoxha, commissioned the construction of 600,000 refuges, enough for 25% of the country's population. He feared invasion not only from the West, but from his ally, the Soviet Union as well. Check out some of the beachside huts of Albania:

Deleted Scenes . . .

Sitting home sick today. If there's one thing about Polish docs, it's that they always err on the side of caution and usually recommend AT LEAST 3 days off, no matter what your ailment. I hope this is the one and only day I need for the antibiotics to destroy these little sinus infection bugs.

Congrats to my cousin Chad who got married last weekend. Here's a pic of all the cousins at the wedding. Click on it for a closer look. They had a photo booth which certainly allowed for some great candids. Looks like everybody is having a great time. Wish I could've been there!

I rescued a few short clips and pics from my camera and decided to throw them together in a short video. It's just a little window into the last couple months. Summer with the family, beach rugby, school field trip, and the George Clinton concert. Don't get too dizzy during the bicycling portion . . . I did. Or maybe it's just my stuffed up sinuses.

The allure of Ecuador.

The production team is still working on a report from Greece, so I will take this opportunity to congratulate a friend of mine on her new adventurous assignment in South America. If you recall this time last year, another friend, my former Middleton colleague Danielle was fresh from accepting a job in Ecuador. If you haven't read her blog, it's sets a much higher literary standard than the Chronicle. There is link to "The Good Life in Ecuador" in the right-hand column. You can also find a link to her husband's photo blog, Spork. Needless to say, it has been one adventure after another for them in this exotic place.

This year, another friend, and former colleague, albeit from my previous days schlepping pizza and beer in Fargo, has accepted a teaching position in Ecuador. Kit, who's been teaching in sunny southern California for the last two years has decided to take the plunge and move to Quito in July. I wish her the best of luck and maybe she will cross paths with the Richerts in the equatorial rainforest someday.


Of course, that means we here at AS-Dub are also welcoming some new staff for next year. There has never been a better time to enter the world of international teaching, as I learned from my principal this morning. She was relating the astounding fact that there were almost 1,100 jobs available at the Seattle job fair, and only 300 candidates attending the fair. The possibilities are limitless for a qualified educator wanting to travel the world. As for this ex-pat, I am quite happy in my own corner of Eastern Europe. There is still a vast area of this continent I have yet to see. Anybody want to go to Luxembourg?

No need for self-improvement . . . and bon voyage!

By the looks of things, few of you out there reading the Chronicle have any real desire to improve in 2008. I'm sure that some out there didn't feel the need to take the survey because it would remind them of failed resolutions past, but I would hope that I have more than 6 readers. If not, then you 6 people really have a lot of time on your hands for multiple visits.

The last couple days have been quite inspiring since some of my colleagues have returned from the international teacher job fair in Bangkok. After your first overseas gig, you are fortunate enough to possess the experience that the "next level" of schools is looking for. These are the dream jobs where you can send some serious amounts of currency home for a rainy day, and get to lie on the beach or hike around lush tropical jungles in your spare time. Not only that, but instead of going to the frozen tundra in Waterloo, you can take a trip to sunny Thailand where you get to decide your next few years over the course of a couple days, and in some cases, a few hours. Job fairs are a roller coaster of emotion.

It really piques the curiosity to hear how in-demand teachers are outside of the U.S. One of my colleagues was courted by 9 different schools before settling on his next posting in Tokyo. The benefits package he showed me was quite sweet, not to mention the added bonus of being paid in yen, as the dollar has taken a Titanic drop in the last year. Plus, the administrative team celebrated like they had just won the lottery when he decided to sign with their school. Heady stuff and quite an ego trip.

Others leaving AS-dub will be working in India, Thailand, Indonesia, and Syria next year. Yes, Syria. After you wade through all of the CNN propaganda, you will find that Damascus has an amazing upside to it. The school there has actually been in existence for over 50 years. That's another unique thing about job fairs . . . you can talk yourself into working in a country that wasn't even remotely on your radar screen if the school and surroundings sound right. Next thing you know, you're riding a camel across the desert.

While I still have at least a couple more years left here in Warsaw, which really has been a "dream job" in its own right, thinking about the astonishing number and scope of possibilities out there certainly helps me get through these January blahs. That, and the weather has been unseasonably warm and sunny the last few days . . . maybe we are having an early spring.

Reader commentary and obscure uses for international students

I would first like to thank the three motivated folks who contributed to my last blog entry with some informed political commentary. One of them even smarmily corrected me on my inquiry about the President of England. The queen of standardized testing, Patricia from Boise, misread the second part of my question. I KNOW that England does not have a prime minister. I should have used the word "leader" in my question, but we here at the Chronicle always appreciate feedback from our readers.

Mike, writing in from Iowa, gave some firsthand insight into the cornfield caucus. I'm sorry that Obama was not able to carry this momentum into New Hampshire and secure a victory. I've talked to a colleague who was home in Iowa over vacation. It was interesting to hear her describe the opportunity to meet politicians on a more intimate basis. I'm not talking Bill Clinton "intimate" here. But she did listen to him speak to an audience of only 200 people. Amazing that some have to pay $1000 for a chicken dinner and some witty commentary from our ex-Prez, and potential First Lady.

Nate, also in Boise, knew that President Sarkozy in France is newly engaged to Italian former supermodel, Carla Bruni. So who's settling in this relationship? Hmmmm. Newly elected French President, age 53 vs. Aspiring singer, heiress to a tire-manufacturing fortune, and former supermodel, age 40. They must have met on match.com. Keep those comments coming readers!

Today I debunked my long-held belief that the Swedish chef on the Muppet Show is only speaking gibberish. On a whim, I decided to show a YouTube clip of the chef to my Swedish speaking students, hoping to find out if Jim Henson did his research when writing lines for one of my favorite muppets. They did confirm that there are actual Swedish words sprinkled in with the unintelligible dialogue. You learn something new every day. Check out this clip of the chef preparing turtle soup. Pure comic genius.

I'm dreaming of a white sands Christmas . . .

The last day of school before break is alway the most off-the-wall time for middle school kids. The feverish anticipation of a full three weeks without school adds a chaotic feeling.

But here, things are a bit different. Most of these kids are not thinking about trips to grandma's house, sledding, or building snowmen. There is no shed full of snowmobiles, or drilling holes in a frozen lake in the hopes of landing a giant slab crappie.

Instead, some of these kids will be heading to exotic locales like the Seychelles Islands, or Phuket, Thailand. Others will head to Paris or Egypt. That is the life of an international student. You get all this time off from school and the means to enjoy some pretty extraordinary places.

All of that anxious energy really doesn't translate into much academic progress so ASW has tried to temper what some would call a wasted day with unique educational opportunities called "mini-courses". Students choose 3 classes from a list of offerings such as tie-dying, making ginger-bread houses, ice-skating, or bowling. The editor of the Chronicle was fortunate enough to spend his morning at the water park supervising kids from the cozy warmth of the jacuzzi. As little orphan Annie says, "It's a hard knock life".

From Russia with love . . .

Here are the pictures of the Speech and Debate Team's trip to Moscow, with a few archived pictures added for flavor:

К сожалению, я пока не говорю по-русски!

It's nice to be back in the tropical latitudes of Poland. This is a relative comparison to the frigid tundra of Russia, where I have spent the last four days. Mid-November and there was already a substantial accumulation of powder on the ground with a bone-chilling wind that seemed colder than anything I have experienced in northern Minnesota. Okay, maybe that is a bit of an exaggeration but it made me glad I brought my long underwear.

Normally, I would steer clear of Moscow this time of year. Come to think of it, I don't think I would ever have made it to the Russian capital without the benefit of being the coach of the ASW Middle School Speech and Debate Team. I know what you're thinking, "How does one achieve such a distinguished position?". Well, I was the first one to answer the e-mail from the activities director once I heard where the tournament would be held.

Growing up during the height of the Cold War (i.e. the Carter and Reagan administrations), I never would have thought that it would be possible that I would someday travel to the center of the "Evil Empire". This was supposed to be forever forbidden, since the Soviets were purportedly hell-bent on completely destroying me, and my country, using nuclear weapons. The only way to avoid this, of course, was by hiding underneath my desk at St. Leo's Elementary. At least, that is what the emergency preparedness filmstrips would have me believe. You remember filmstrips don't you? Everyone would always clamor for the privilege of turning the knob on the projector at the sound of "BEEP!". Good memories indeed.

I think my childhood fear of being vaporized peaked after watching "The Day After", a made for TV movie about a nuclear attack on a small mid-western city. "But I live in a small mid-western city! This could happen to me!" I thought. Check out this clip to and put yourself in my shoes as an impressionable young boy. It scared the @$#% out of me.

But thanks to Rocky Balboa, the Cold War ended on Christmas Day in 1985. His victory over Ivan Drago and the impassioned speech that followed made me realize I wasn't going to die. Because in Rocky's words,
"If I can change . . . and you can change. . . . everyone can change!"

Thanks for reading! I will have pics from this trip up soon . . . Have a Happy Thanksgiving!

Chicken Kiev!

One of the many perks of teaching overseas is the opportunity to travel internationally as part of my coaching duties. This is my second year coaching middle school cross country and it is such a refreshing change from the varsity level back in the States. The practices are only two days a week compared to six, and the season last for only 6 weeks. In Idaho, I would start coaching during the dog days of early August and complete the season around Halloween. Also, instead of traveling to a different city for meets every week, we culminate all of our hard work with a trip to a different international school.

This year, we were fortunate to take a trip to Kiev, Ukraine. Since declaring independence from the former Soviet Union in 1991, this country has been divided. Those that live in the West want to forge a closer bond with Europe, and eventually obtain EU membership, and those that live in the East long for the days when they were one with Mother Russia. In fact, one of the most striking monuments in Kiev is the Mother Motherland Statue commemorating the Soviet loss of over 20 million people in World War II.

Kiev has also been called "the Rome of Orthodox Christianity" since this religion traces much of its early history to the churches built there. They certainly are impressive structures with multiple gilded domes dotting the city skyline. The brightly colored facades hint at the stunningly brilliant murals inside depicting the saintly deeds of the church founders.

But for me, what was most fascinating about Kiev was the ubiquitous presence of organized crime. Large black luxury cars and SUVs with tinted windows moved slowely up and down the main streets within the city. Upon parking, there would always be a cadre of burly, neckless thugs wearing earpieces that would surround the vehicle before the occupant exited. I'm not saying that just because you own an ultra-expensive car and have bodyguards, you are affiliated with the mob, but my tour guide informed me that 200 people control 90% of the wealth in Ukraine. It takes a lot of greased palms to acquire all that power in such a short time. And corruption breeds poverty while poverty, in turn, breeds resentment. I'm thinking that these guys need a lot of protection and also the status symbols that make the resentful impoverished people like me remember where my place is.

My colleague, Rachel, and I were lucky to get an up-close look at a couple of these cars outside the restaurant where the coaches' dinner was being held. The bodyguards were even kind enough to let us pose for a picture. Even the Ukrainian mafia is kind to tourists.

Politics is definitely a taboo topic of conversation in Ukraine. I tried to get some perspective on the state of the government from Mila, our tour guide. This woman has been living in Kiev since she was a little girl and has seen it all. Elections had only been held a few weeks before and she said that it was too soon for her to be commenting on them. However, I have a comment. I want to congratulate Ukraine on electing one of the most stunningly beautiful prime ministers in world history. At age 48, Yulia Tymoshenko shatters the mold of what a powerful woman should look like. I applaud the Ukrainian people for putting her in power even though she doesn't exude authority like the Thatchers and Merkels before her.

One of the stops on our tour was a walk through the park that sits across from the parliamentary building. Since 2004, political lobbyists have been camped inside tents on the park's lawn. The number of tents has fallen from a high of 20,000 in 2004, around the time of the pro-west Orange Revolution. Only a few dozen communist sympathizers have kept up their vigil near the capital. They really hold no allegiance to any of the 38 parties that hold offices, but instead are paid to "rabble-rouse" for the highest bidder, usually the shady oligarchs (Putin lovers) on the eastern side of the country.


The President, Victor Yushchenko, sends his kids to Pechersk International, the school that hosted the cross country meet. Apparently, he is married to a Ukrainian-American and they wanted a bilingual education. People I talked with at the school described how much of a distraction it can be to have armed guards outside their classrooms even though their is a sign clearly posted in front telling you to check your weapons at the gate. In case you've forgotten, Yushchenko was the guy that had his face disfigured from dioxin poisoning during the 2004 elections. They play by a different set of rules in the "Wild East".

Thanks for reading . . . only 8 more weeks until I am back on American soil! Check out some pics of the Motherland (Ukraine that is):

Field trippin'

Here are some video highlights of our field trip to Malbork Castle and Gdansk:

Enjoying the long weekend?

To all my American friends out there, I hope you are enjoying your three day weekend. Take the time to remember all those that have given their lives in the service of our country. Just like we have to remind kids every year what the true meaning of Christmas is, don't forget why we observe Memorial Day. I'm not one of those "USA, USA!" patriots but take some time to cue the Lee Greenwood, please.

Speaking of the good ol' US of A. Your president will be making a 3 hour stop in Poland to hang out with "the ducks", Lech and Jaroslaw Kaczynski. They'll no doubt be talking about a way to get me to pay federal income tax back in the states. The U.S. Treasury needs that money to fund visits like this, which according to one Embassy parent, requires 200 people for security and 10 armored Cadillacs for transportation.

It's been "hotter than blue blazes" here, as my grandma would say. What does that mean, anyway? A blue flame is a relatively cool burning flame. Shouldn't it be hotter than orange or even red blazes? Nevertheless, it's been almost 90 the last few days and air conditioning is a luxury few can afford.

The seniors at ASW have graduated and Saturday night one of the more affluent families had a big party for their son. I should've dressed up and crashed it since they flew in British pop star, Jamie Cullum, to play at the celebration. I don't know how much it cost, but I'm betting he didn't have to fly to Warsaw aboard RyanAir.
Thanks for all the birthday wishes last week. Turning 33 was quite uneventful. Some friends from work organized a bike ride from tent to tent on the way home from school. There are a lot of these outdoor patios between ASW and my place. Despite spending quality time at quite a few of them, my bike and I remain in one piece after the journey.

Only 19 more day until I'm back in Boise. Does anybody have a cruiser I can comandeer for transportation while I'm there? I'm jonesing for some quality time at Parilla Grill or Opa. Hope some of you folks back there have a few days off.

Signs of spring . . .

There is an old Polish saying that if the Christmas tree roots are in ice, Easter will be sunny; but if the Christmas tree's roots are in water, the Easter eggs will roll on ice. Well, I'm hoping this proverb doesn't hold true since we had an unseasonably warm December here in Warsaw, but if this week's weather is any indication, spring has arrived in kielbasa country.

Talking about the weather can be considered sort of a reach when making polite conversation with somebody, but here there are some interesting signs of spring that are not normally found when the weather gets warmer stateside.

As I was wandering around the city this evening (me aimlessly wandering around is a definite sign), I noticed a distinct upsurge in the number of street performers. Tonight, my heart was warmed (no pun intended) by the presence of a couple fire dancers near the city center. I don't know why, but there's just something about a dangerous looking woman twirling chains with firey orbs attached to them. If you tell me to meet you somewhere in the city and I run into a couple of pyrophilic females, chances are good that I'm going to be late.

The ubiquitous (one of my all-time favorite words) accordion man was also sighted. This guy, however, is more of an "all-weather" street performer. In fact, one of the joys of riding the tram cars in Warsaw is the possibility that accordion man will jump on and serenade you on your way home. I think it's an especially lucrative gig for him since the audience is helplessly stationary. This allows him to pass the tin cup in front of all passengers who sooner or later are forced to part with their loose change.

I'm a really big fan of the guys who go above and beyond for the sake of street performance. It's easy to dust off the guitar, violin, pan flute, saxophone, or even mime make-up kit and make some quick zlotys pounding the pavement around Warsaw. But it takes a special breed to get some friends up off the couch and form a street band. Not only do you have to get everybody motivated, but the more friends you have at your gig, the more guys you have to split the money with. Here's a pic of my good friend Scrote in front of some hard-working Poles last fall.

Speaking of Scrote, his name came up in my health class today. For the second consecutive trimester, I've been entrusted with the delicate task of educating the international youth community about puberty and sexuality. One of our vocab words was "scrotum" and, of course, I couldn't let this go by without mentioning one of the key differences between males and females . . . the use of nicknames. That's all I have to say on that subject.


I am looking forward to Wednesday's class when we will have a special guest speaker talk about his experiences with both the prostate exam and vasectomy. It is bound to be a riveting lecture from one of my most trusted and respected colleagues.

I think that's an appropriate note to "end" on, don't you? But for your own amusement, go to google images, type in "prostate exam", and see what pops up. Whatever proctologists make, it just isn't enough. I'm hoping that in the next 8 years, they will have found a less invasive way of screening for prostate cancer.

Do widzenia moj' colegos!

Mark

ASW science on YouTube

Before I head of to play some adult recreational league basketball, I thought I would try posting my first video. Today in science, we had fun with fire. I posted the vid on YouTube. Check it out (copy and paste the address into your browser):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wzmxwEAZcpo

I would directly link to it but then my students would be able to find my blog. Not a good idea!

There wasn't anymore excitement to my winter break other than watching the Ireland vs. England rugby match at Jimmy O'Bradley's Irish Pub. I'm firmly convinced that there is no such thing as a fire code in the city of Warsaw. This bar was packed with Irish and English ex-pats singing their respective anthems with boozy enthusiasm. I don't know the words to "God Save The Queen" or "The Fields of Athenry" but chose to root for Ireland since they make such great whisky. The boys in green came away with an historic victory, scoring 6 tries on the visitors for a 43-13 drubbing.


Also, I want to wish a wonderfully happy birthday to my Dad back in Minnesota! Wish I could be there but I'll see you, Mom, and Dave in just a few weeks!

It's okay . . . I'm with the band.

Last week, I had the good fortune to take a trip to Bucharest, Romania as a chaperone at the CEESA (Central Eastern European Schools Association) band festival. As you can imagine, band kids don't get into a lot of trouble so this was a nice trip to see a different city with 4 Korean students along for the ride. The band director did all the work. I was just there to carry the first aid kid, school phone, and camera.

Bucharest is a city stuck between new economic opportunity and the old communist system. This is reflected in the ever-widening gap between the wealthy and impoverished. Where else can you see a horse and buggy, Frank Loyd Wright inspired mansions, a boy leading an ox on a rope, and a Porsche dealership all within a two block stretch. There was also garbage strewn across vast fields that will soon be dotted with upscale, art-deco style villas.

I had been told that Bucharest is a glimpse of Warsaw 15 years ago. Now I can see why people have this notion that the Polish capital is a bleak, gray metropolis. Like Poland though, Romania's countryside has remained relatively unspoiled by industry and political turmoil. It was also the setting for scenes from the movie "Borat". In fact, the village where it was filmed is now suing him, but I do believe the case has already been thrown out.

There are redeeming qualities in every city I visit, but it was quite difficult to find the true beauty of Romania's capital. They have yet to tear down any of the old "Commie Bloc" highrises to make room for modern architecture. Everything also seems to have this perpetual coating of grime and mildew. It seems like the reign of former dictator Nicolai Ceausescu has left quite the hangover.

For those asleep during 1989, and not familiar with the Ceausescu regime, a fascinating synopsis can be found here:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nicolae_Ceau%C5%9Fescu

Copy and paste it into your browser if for no other reason than to read about him and his wife being executed on Christmas Day by an army officer's sub-machine gun. You can also watch his last speech from the Palace balcony on youtube.com

Romania is also home to the world's second largest building (then Pentagon is no. 1).
Ceausescu leveled over 6,000 homes, dozens of churches, and all of Old Town Bucharest to make room for this monstrosity, the People's Palace. Anything I write cannot fully do justice to the shameful history behind the construction of this monument to a megalomaniac (awesome alliteration, alright?). You can read about why Romanians call this the "Palace of Lies" here:

http://home.xnet.com/~jkelley/BucharestBugle.fldr/BuchBugle19-20.html

Bucharest also has a bit of a dog problem. Driving out to the school from the city centre, I would see strays everywhere, roaming in packs or resting lazily by the side of the road. I had brought my running shoes, but opted for the treadmill in the hotel fitness center instead of putting my gonads up as doggie treats, so to speak.

My last evening in town gave me a newfound appreciation for Romania. The activities director at AISB (American International School of Bucharest) formerly worked at ASW. He was nice enough to arrange a night on the town with Maria, one of the local hires, and a few of her friends.

I've always had a certain affectation for Nadia Comaneci, but the Romanian beauties encountered while exploring the nightlife of Bucharest scored an 11, besting Nadia's perfect 10 at the 1976 Olympics. Offering a compliment to my guide, she declared Romanian women to be "the most beautiful in the whole world". This is now the fourth country where I've heard that claim. Let it never be said that Eastern European women lack self-confidence.

My first three days in Bucharest had convinced me that I would not be making a return visit anytime soon, but I might have been a little too hasty in my judgement . . .

Do widzenia . . .

Mark