It's March Madness Baby!

I do not follow college basketball yet for some reason I have taken it upon myself to run the NCAA tournament "office pool" at my respective school for the last 5 years or so. This involves a fair amount of labor, hunting down people for their entries, and then hunting them down when they forget to predict the final score and / or don't put their name on their paper, much like my 6th graders.

When the dust settles in a couple weeks, and a champion is crowned, I am sure that I will have flushed another few dollars, or in this case, zloty, down the crapper. I just hope that the lucky winner of the pool is gracious enough to buy the tourney administrator a few piwos. The weak dollar is killing me over here, but I will save my analysis of world economies for another day.

Right now, I am looking for anything to pass the days until spring "officially" arrives. The calendar says that today is supposed to hold that title. But looking out my window, it is apparent that we in Polska are still caught in the icy death grip of winter. I think Warsaw has accumulated more snow in the last 3 days than all of February. It's left me in a bit of a funk and one way to shake off the blues is to take a trip.

So I will be shedding a few pounds this weekend, so to speak, in London. Hip, hip, cheerio!

Something to think about.

"I am not an enthusiast of a young person sitting in front of a computer, watching video clips and pornography while sipping a bottle of beer and voting when he feels like it,"

--Former Prime Minister of Poland, Jaroslaw Kaczynski on e-voting.

Happy St. Paddy's Day . . .

The weather today in Warsaw reminds me of Ireland. Wet, cold, rainy. Unfortunately, one of my favorite holidays had to fall on a Monday this year. All of the Guinness ads are touting the celebration of "St. Patrick's Day weekend" since I'm sure most, even some Irish, will forgo a hard night of drinking in favor of having a hangover free Tuesday at work. I am no exception, although here in Warsaw, like most European capitals, it's easy to find an Irish pub. I think there are 4 of them. They have spread like a virus. Enjoy an aerial tour of Ireland:

Crime and the killer satellite.

I was the witness to a crime the other night. A couple of thugs had the audacity to cut in line (or the "queue" as the Brits like to say) at McDonald's. Normally, this would not elicit much more than an arched eyebrow or some muttering under my breath. After all, budging in front of people was a polished art during Communist times. Who am to begrudge something that is ingrained in the culture?

Cutting in line is a crime in Warsaw? Well, not exactly. But this was not just any McDonald's. And this was not just any time of day. We are talking about the first Mickey D's in Poland (the corner of Świętokrzyska and Marszałkowska) at 3:00 AM on a Saturday night. However, there must be a precedent for such unruly behavior, since two burley security guards clad in complete body armor are stationed around the clock at this grease pit. (yeah, I know what you're saying, "Why are you at an American fast food joint in Poland? That stuff tastes like crap and can kill you!")

To make a long story short, these two inebriated youth were given the full-on beat down after daring to question the authority of the bouncers who asked them to politely move to the back of the line, about 20 people long at this time of night. I usually don't condone such violence, but I must admit a small part of me felt no sympathy for these hooligans. But the great part about Poland is that you never have to worry about somebody pulling a gun. It really is a safe country with regards to never having to worry about violent crime. I do wish they would do something about the dog poop dotting the sidewalks, however.

On a completely unrelated note, Poles recently gained the right to travel to Canada (another gun-free country) without a visa. This might not be a big deal to some foreigners who are used to being welcomed to most countries with open arms, Belarus and Russia excluded. But for Poles this was a victory of sorts, yet it was also a festering reminder that obtaining a visa to America is still a bureaucratic nightmare, even after promises that this requirement would be lifted if they participated in Iraq and Afghanistan. Remember the famous line from the debates in 2004? . . . "Don't forget Poland!".

Well, after lending their support in two wars, the Polish government has gone one step further and allowed the installation of a missile defense shield on its soil. This is apparently to deter aggression from Iran, which everybody knows is bent on waging jihad against Poles all over the world. (ed. note: That's what we like to call a "joke".) This has made the Russians a bit P.O.ed and they now have missiles pointed at the offices of the Kielbasa here in Warsaw. *GULP!*

But ironically enough, the Pentagon recently had to shoot down a wayward military satellite over the skies of Poland, under the guise of protecting both classified technology and citizens of this country from having the orbiter crash into a living room somewhere across the river in Praga. Astute observers will tell you that this was meant to show the Russians that we can indeed shoot moving objects out of the sky, ala Space Invaders. Somewhere, the ghost of Ronald Reagan is smiling as his dreams of the Star Wars program have finally come to fruition. Cold War II, anyone?

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Now playing: Mute Math - Picture
via FoxyTunes

Hello Algeria!

I don't know how accurate the "Recent Visitors" map is on here. Thanks to Danielle in Ecuador for telling me about this. But I just wanted to say hello to Kielbasa readers in Africa. We had our first visitor from that continent today. And I would be remiss if I didn't give a "shout-out" to visitors from Iceland, China, Hong Kong, and Peru. I know who you are! (Well, not Iceland. Could it be Bjork?) And as always, Hi Mom!

The Power of Python.

Monty Python movies are loved the world over and Poland is no exception. The man who translated these masterful British comedies into Polish is literally a legend in Polish cinema. Physical comedies like "The Naked Gun" series of movies are funny in any language but the subtle nuances of British humor are difficult to interpret when converting them into another language. Maybe the Polish readers can give the name of this master translator.

Which brings me to the overriding point of this post. John Cleese, is starring in a new commercial for a Polish bank. Since 2004, when the immigration restrictions to England were lifted for Poles, these two countries have been intertwined. How much economic clout do 600,000 immigrants have? Well, they must have a lot for this legend of comedy to agree to do a subtitled ad on Polish TV. Then again, it does make perfect sense that young Polish John Cleese fans would be in the market for a loan. The thinking behind advertising always mystifies me. But the ad is quite funny. Notice the cute make-up artist who has to step up on a box to reach Cleese's face (he's 6' 5"). She's obviously Polish. Check it out:


The "I was at Wembley in '73!" quote is an allusion to Poland knocking England out of the 1974 World Cup by playing them to a 1-1 draw in 1973 at Wembley Stadium. For my nostalgic Polish readers, I've included the vid. Amazing the stuff you can find on youtube.