My father's security team . . .

As some of you may know, my parents and brother are now making a visit to see their ex-pat son/brother in Polska land. After arriving on Thursday afternoon, it was good to get them back to my flat for some rest and relaxation. Both Mom and Dad had gotten some sleep on the plane with the help of medication. Dave didn't quite fare as well and spent most of the flight in airline purgatory watching a couple terrible movies. He does, however, commend the human resource department at KLM for their discerning eye when it comes to hiring flight attendants.

Day 1 involved some local sight-seeing in some blustery weather. The conditions were not conducive to enjoying a libation on the patios of Old Town. But we made the best of it and the beauty of Warsaw's public transport system was not lost on them. I think it gave them a feel for daily life in the big city and the assortment of characters encountered on the streets.

It was with some trepidation that I arranged for us to attend a Polish League soccer match that first evening. My dad declined to attend given the chilly night air and his recovery from pneumonia, but Mom and Dave braved the elements for a chance to see what Euros call "the elegant game". This would also be my first chance to watch a Legia contest, a team notorious for their rowdy fans.

The atmosphere did not dissappoint. We were able to mingle with the hoolies beneath the underpass near the stadium as they "pre-funked" with a few brews and some raucous chanting. My mother enjoyed the show of strength from the local policja. They, as always, made sure their presence was known, wearing their riot gear and stone-faced expressions.

In the end, the home team triumphed 3-0. Everybody was happy, no rioting ensued. I was relieved that we actually saw a match with more than 1 goal.

The next day, we all went out to the rugby match between the Warsaw Frogs and Kinsale RFC, a team from Cork, Ireland. It was a hard-hitting bruisefest but I was able to escape with a few minor abrasions. Sustaining a serious injury in front of your mother in a country with limited health care facilities would not have been the ideal situation. Now I can take a couple weeks off and prepare for the Warsaw 10's tourney in May.

The post-match social was of particular interest to my Dad as he got into the act by posing behind some tour virgins from the Irish team.

He was all too happy to pose for this picture. It's a classic. But Mom didn't quite enjoy the bawdy lyrics in some of the songs, but like she told one of my teammates "I've raised three boys, I've heard it all".

Dave had a great time meeting some guys from the Frogs, and raised a few toasts with the national beverage. Peer pressure has no age limit as he was encouraged to extend his night by the big Scotsman, Ian, Philo the Polish Hitman, and Oksana from the Ukraine.

The Minnesota contingent is currently visiting Krakow, the tourist center of Poland. Although a bit daunted by the language barrier, I am assured they will be alright. The itinerary calls for them to attend Auschwitz, the Wieliczka salt mine, and Wawel castle. They will be back tomorrow, and we head for the mother country, Slovenia, on Friday.

"I'm glad that David came with us. When you're not around, I count on him as my bodyguard." --James Gaspersich

I'm sure the coming week will bring more quotable gems. Thanks for reading!

The longest weekend . . .

The exhaustion from my own version of The Amazing Race last weekend has finally worn off. Seeing four cities in four countries in four days was certainly an ambitious travel schedule but I had company in from Canada so I wanted to make sure we had plenty to do. Nobody wants to see the same museums, churches, and pubs for ten straight days. I'm a bit of a novice at this amateur travel agent stuff but I think it's better to have too much stuff to see than too little.

Tracy, my guest from Ottawa, and I flew into Vilnius, Lithuania last Thursday night to begin the long weekend. After spending the chilly spring day wandering around the city visiting everything from the castle tower overlooking the city, to Frank Zappa's head on a stick we had a great dinner at the Crowne Plaza where we were staying.
One of the great things about the post-communist economy is that prices for upscale hotels are still relatively inexpensive. A guy like me, who would never be able to stay in luxury digs back in America, can afford to splurge once in awhile here.

One of the highlights in Vilnius was ducking into this non-descript alleyway and finding this local bar staffed by an aged babushka and her son who seemed a few cards short, in our opinion. But then again, I've probably had the same said about me.

He was more than happy to spend some time watching "Pimp My Ride" with Latvian subtitles and occasionally pour me a pint into a glass which looked unused for months. The chances of my companion getting herself a nice glass of red wine were zero but I think she enjoyed her local concoction.

Arriving by bus in Riga, Latvia the next afternoon, we saw a definite contrast from sleepy little Vilnius. Riga was a much more cosmopolitan city bustling with youthful energy. The narrow, Prague-like streets wound between Art Nouveau style buildings in the Old Towne section. Enormous palaces of worship seemed to dot every block. The Russian Orthodox churches in Eastern Europe are amazingly ornate not just for their towering golden domes, but also the brilliantly colorful murals contained inside.

Ending the day with a spectacular view of the sunset from the Skyline Bar atop our hotel, we were both sorry our time in Riga was coming to a close. The next morning arrived much too quickly and before we could wipe the sleep from our eyes, we were on a bus to Tallinn, Estonia. Forunately, we commandeered the area in the back and dozed off while sprawling across six seats, only awaking for the requisite bathroom break in rural Latvia and for passport approval into our next country.

The place we booked in Tallinn gave me a newfound appreciation for renting a flat instead of a hotel room the next time you need accomodations overseas. There's just something more welcoming about having your own kitchen, washing machine, and living room for use during your stay. Granted, I think the only thing we used was a knife and some glassware but had I the desire, it's nice to know I could've whipped up a four course meal.

Estonia had a Scandinavian feel to it given it's proximity to Finland. Prices were a bit higher and clothing a bit furrier. I was tempted to acquire a genuine reindeer-skin viking helmet as a memento but that impulse quickly faded when faced with the outrageous pricetag. It looked quite festive but how often in daily life does dress code call for barbarian headgear? Chances of me attending a Minnesota Vikings' game were already slim before I moved to Poland. I believe they have to be in the playoffs to play in the month of December when I'm home for Christmas. The odds of that happening are longshot at best. Sorry Grandma, I know you're a big fan. At least the Twins have started their season.

After spending Easter in Tallinn wandering around the city, up the hill to the castle and visiting the "Barbie dream house" presidential palace, we spent the last evening of the long weekend curled up on the couch enjoying cheese and wine before heading out to a recommended seafood restaurant nearby. The food was delicious, but we were exhausted. The fact that it was Easter Sunday meant that their was no chance to check out the nightlife in the old town. I'm not sure I would've had the stamina to explore the evening culture of Estonia, anyway.

Our journey to Helsinki the next morning was a ride aboard the Super Seacat fast jet ferry. It was a fierce looking vessel but the irony was not lost upon seeing souvenir t-shirts bearing a picture of the boat and the mascot; a threatening long-haired tabby cat. I presumed that the boat was owned by a devoted pet owner who acquired it only after losing his beloved seafaring feline in a tragic yachting accident. Who else would name a multi-million dollar cruiser after a fluffy land-loving mammal?

There is not much to say about Helsinki. Picture any big city and then put a Finnish flag on top of every building. That's about it. In fact, I stole the picture from National Geographic's website. I just couldn't find anything quintissentially "Finnish" about the city. However, I am proud to say that I achieved one of my life dreams there . . . I took a sauna in Finland. Granted, it was at the Crowne Plaza and we snuck in under the guise of being hotel guests, but all the authentic Finnish saunas were closed for the holiday. The best things in life are still free.

The worst thing about Finland is they charge you 1 Euro to relieve yourself in most public places. Now I can see why the place is so clean. The "urination tax" must raise huge amounts of revenue from Finns, a people renowned for their love of alcohol. And I am not just basing this belief on my interactions with Finlanders in northern Minnesota. Last year, alcohol was the leading cause of death among Finnish teens. Alcohol-related dehydration in a sauna can kill you without warning, I guess.

Big things on the horizon . . . my mom, dad, and younger brother Dave are making their first (of many I hope) visit to Polska next week. Also, my first taste of rugby on foreign soil occurs tomorrow when the Warsaw Frogs take on the Wath Warriors Vets and the Maidstone Vets. Both teams are from England so destruction and debauchery will ensue, guaranteed. The pound buys a lot of beer over here.

Thanks for reading!

P.S.
Spring in Warsaw is quite beautiful. See for yourself . . . this picture was taken by Tracy last week in Łazienki Park. This place was featured on the last Amazing Race when they went through Poland, but they didn't show any of the natural beauty in the city's greenspace. Oh well, it keeps out the riffraff.



P.S.S. Here's a cool video about Ice Cricket tournaments in Estonia. Brrrrrr!

Odd sights . . .

Remember the sample lady at the grocery store? Usually she would stand near the frozen food section hawking Tombstone pizzas or frozen egg rolls. As a kid, I would wander around from aisle to aisle looking for free snack food from these blue-haired biddys. After making multiple passes, gorging myself, and ending up with flaps of burnt skin hanging from the roof of my mouth, my presence would be met with a disapproving sigh and a raised eyebrow.

Here in Poland, where they take advertising to a new level, you will usually find the sample table staffed by cute young women dressed up in costumes. I don't know what Supergirl has to do with the prevention of tooth decay but she certainly makes one priortize his dental health. Maybe a woman can tell me if stick-thin models with giant lips on their heads really make them want to buy lipstick.

Imagine my surprise last Friday evening when I happened upon a display of Ukrainian vodka, complete with free samples. After knocking one back, the pleasant young man insisted that I try a second one. I reluctantly accepted only to hide behind the wine section, wretching uncontrollably. Does anybody remember "bitter beer face"? Well, Ukrainian vodka face is much more severe.

I didn't think anybody back home would believe they were giving out vodka shots across from the meat section so I requested a picture for the Chronicle. Not only was he happy to oblige, but he even posed for the picture and offered me libation numer trzy. That's Polish for "number three". I politely declined as there was a line of thirsty Poles forming behind me.

Add "Guy Playing a Chair" to the list of odd street performers.
Does one just wake up one morning and have an "Aha!" moment . . . "I know that I'm devoid of any redeeming talent whatsoever, so how 'bout I play this old chair? And for extra comedic value, I will tape a picture of George Bush's head to the front of the chair. This will knock 'em dead at the Centrum metro station."


Finally, I had seen this odd sight a week ago, but neglected to have my camera since I was walking to rugby practice. I was so happy to capture this moment on Sunday because nobody would believe me if I told them I saw a wooly mammoth walking through Pole Mokowtowskie Park. Watching dogs doing what dogs do in parks and then encountering this lumbering beast was quite amusing. Varsovians don't clean up after their pets so there is a surplus of brown landmines in the city. I'm sure production is doubled whenever the furry elephant walks on by.


Big trip this weekend . . . a whirlwind tour of four cities in four days. Crazy yes, but I am doing research for you, my prospective guests. The travel guinea pig is constantly on the lookout for great weekend / day trips from Warsaw. I'll make the mistakes in trying to do too much now, so you won't have to later.

A special greeting to Nate's Mom, a new reader.

Happy Easter!