I was the witness to a crime the other night. A couple of thugs had the audacity to cut in line (or the "queue" as the Brits like to say) at McDonald's. Normally, this would not elicit much more than an arched eyebrow or some muttering under my breath. After all, budging in front of people was a polished art during Communist times. Who am to begrudge something that is ingrained in the culture?
Cutting in line is a crime in Warsaw? Well, not exactly. But this was not just any McDonald's. And this was not just any time of day. We are talking about the first Mickey D's in Poland (the corner of Świętokrzyska and Marszałkowska) at 3:00 AM on a Saturday night. However, there must be a precedent for such unruly behavior, since two burley security guards clad in complete body armor are stationed around the clock at this grease pit. (yeah, I know what you're saying, "Why are you at an American fast food joint in Poland? That stuff tastes like crap and can kill you!")
To make a long story short, these two inebriated youth were given the full-on beat down after daring to question the authority of the bouncers who asked them to politely move to the back of the line, about 20 people long at this time of night. I usually don't condone such violence, but I must admit a small part of me felt no sympathy for these hooligans. But the great part about Poland is that you never have to worry about somebody pulling a gun. It really is a safe country with regards to never having to worry about violent crime. I do wish they would do something about the dog poop dotting the sidewalks, however.
On a completely unrelated note, Poles recently gained the right to travel to Canada (another gun-free country) without a visa. This might not be a big deal to some foreigners who are used to being welcomed to most countries with open arms, Belarus and Russia excluded. But for Poles this was a victory of sorts, yet it was also a festering reminder that obtaining a visa to America is still a bureaucratic nightmare, even after promises that this requirement would be lifted if they participated in Iraq and Afghanistan. Remember the famous line from the debates in 2004? . . . "Don't forget Poland!".
Well, after lending their support in two wars, the Polish government has gone one step further and allowed the installation of a missile defense shield on its soil. This is apparently to deter aggression from Iran, which everybody knows is bent on waging jihad against Poles all over the world. (ed. note: That's what we like to call a "joke".) This has made the Russians a bit P.O.ed and they now have missiles pointed at the offices of the Kielbasa here in Warsaw. *GULP!*
But ironically enough, the Pentagon recently had to shoot down a wayward military satellite over the skies of Poland, under the guise of protecting both classified technology and citizens of this country from having the orbiter crash into a living room somewhere across the river in Praga. Astute observers will tell you that this was meant to show the Russians that we can indeed shoot moving objects out of the sky, ala Space Invaders. Somewhere, the ghost of Ronald Reagan is smiling as his dreams of the Star Wars program have finally come to fruition. Cold War II, anyone?
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