Is it time to grow up?

Next weekend, I'm spending a couple days in Prague. A friend at work is getting married this summer to a nice Polish girl. It was his last wish as a single man to have his bachelor party in this beautiful city. My question for you is this: I'll be turning 33 in a couple days. At what age does your mom stop telling you things like, "Have a good time in Prague, but be sensible."?

Shootin' down the days . . .

After today, we've hit the sweet 16 at ASW. Yes, only 16 more days of school. The kids are distracted as well as the adults. The bike racks around school have filled up as everybody chooses the mode of transportation that makes it much easier to hit the beer tents after work.

Since spring break, everybody has shifted into summer mode during the last few weeks of school. Lots of parents have decided to make it an early summer or take an extended spring vacation. This frustrated me at first, but it's just one of those things about teaching in an international school that you have to deal with. When the private jet or the yacht is gassed up and ready to head for some exotic locale, do you really blink an eye when taking your kids out a week early? It's a nice problem to have, I would guess.

While the U.S. is engulfed in American Idol fever, Europe had it's own Superbowl of bad music last weekend. For those who've never heard of the Eurovision song contest, let me explain. Every country in the European Broadcasting Union (think T.V.'s EU) nominates a particular act from their country to send to the competition. Each song is performed on live television and citizens of each EBU nation are given the chance to vote for their favorite, excluding their home country.

You can imagine the potential for unintentional comedy when you think of each country's interpretation of what constitutes "pop music". Those that are woefully short on talent, get by on their stage-presence, using garish costumes and shocking antics. Sometimes, these groups actually win.

Last year, the Finnish heavy-metal group, Lordi, took home the prize with their performance of "Hard-Rock Hallelujah".



Now, when you go through the airport in Helsinki, this national pride is celebrated with t-shirts and other souvenirs bearing the visage of Lordi.

This year, Serbia claimed victory. It's too bad I had drawn Belarus in the pool. You can go to youtube and look up each country's performance. These videos are definitely worth a look, especially France's entry, since it is just so . . . well, "French".

Last week, we wanted the kids to get in touch with their inner soldier, so we took them on a trip to the Polish Army Museum. There is an amazing array of Soviet military hardware on display there, including missile launchers, tanks, fighter jets, and helicopters. This was definitely a microcosm of the Cold War, and how defense spending takes precedence over a nation's more critical needs, like food!

Everybody took the chance to pose with an authentic AK-47, including yours truly. I also had the time to install an "Irish missle" on one of the planes.

The next day, "Night of the Museums" was held all over Warsaw. This is a special evening when all museums are free and they hold special exhibitions. Robb Hoiseth captured this video at the Army Museum that night. I don't think they would ever allow this back home:



I know in my last entry, which seemed like a long time ago, I said I would give some details on the trip to Rome, but I will let the pictures tell the story instead. I've uploaded all the pics from Slovenia also. You can access them here:

http://s59.photobucket.com/albums/g319/mgaspersich/

Copy and paste the link into your browser, then just click on Rome and Slovenia to enter the albums. These are instructions for the tech-impaired. You know who you are.

Finally, a happy belated Mother's Day to my mom back in Minnesota. This holiday isn't celebrated until next weekend here in Poland, so I will just take the opportunity to let Mr. T. tell my mom how much I love her:

Planes, trains, and automobiles.

I have returned to my previous solitary existence inside my Polish bachelor pad. My family is somewhere high above the Atlantic enjoying unlimited helpings of mini-pretzels, Sutter Home wine, and the English language. At least I think they are. Rogue cabbies in Warsaw are notorious for kidnapping American tourists, stealing all their valuables, and dumping them across the Ukranian border. Kidding Grandma, only kidding!



I never thought being responsible would be so exhausting. It was a great experience to have Mom, Dad, and Dave hop across the pond to see where I work and live. They will definitely have a newfound perspective on things when I make my weekly call over the computer. Showing them around Warsaw was the easy part. Being able to retreat to the friendly confines of 40 Wielicka #64 after a day of sightseeing was definitely really nice for them.

The last week has been the most interesting travel experience I've had over here. The four of us traveled to the motherland, Slovenia, the country my grandmother left back in 1924 at the tender age of 16. Okay, it was part of a larger country called Yugoslavia back then, but the powderkeg of warring ethnicities has since fractured it into 5 smaller nations. But I digress, since this is not a forum for the politics of Eastern Europe.


Anyhow, if you're still reading, I'll give you a little background to help you understand the history behind the visit. Back in 1977, when I was just a 3 year old little hellion, my parents went to Yugoslavia with my grandmother. My father has
cousins living in the same tiny village called Zemostac, and my grandmother hadn't been back in over 50 years. As you can see, my parents were quite the groovy couple back then.

When they said goodbye in 1977, they didn't think they would ever see each other again for some odd reason. Fortunately, I was able to make a visit in 2005 to see the family, and meet all of my second cousins. It was a journey that had a profound effect on me moving to my present location.

It was an emotional experience for all of us, but especially for my parents. Memories of their previous trip came flooding back and there wasn't a dry eye in the house, so to speak. Andreja and Tomaz translated the feelings of happiness between all of us. Dad was still pretty savvy with his knowledge of Slovenian much to the surprise of the older folks.

It was wonderful to just sit back and play trip photographer while everyone bonded over heaping plates of potica, prosciutto, and cheese. I wish I could post all of the photos here, but to save space I will get them uploaded to my Photobucket account in the near future.














Okay, so posting this entry has taken a few days. I had a severe case of writer's block / laziness but have decided to give you my musings on the craziness of the Italian capital in a later entry.

I want to thank all of you who have provided me positive feedback on the blog. It's great to hear from some old friends and family that drop by the KC site from time to time.















I'm really looking forward to coming back to the U.S. in a few weeks. Highlights include the Boise H3's 1000th hash which I'll get to be a part of if the airline gods bestow a delay-free day on me. The chance to be an "Ironfan" watching 25 friends do the race in Coeur D'Alene is going to be an epic experience as well. And getting to hold my newly arrived niece, Lauren, should give me some serenity in between play times with Griffin, my nephew. And of course, I reserved plenty of time for sitting on a boat with my Dad, fishing and speaking in Polish.

I will leave you with a few pics showing my mom experiencing the power of creative Polish advertising, my brother witnessing the artistry of one of my favorite street performers, and two guys learning about the history of the Catholic Church. Thanks for reading!

Back to work . . .

Today, I am back at work and the parents and Dave have been safely delivered to the airport. Right about now, their flight back to the relative safety of the United States should be taking off. It was an exhausting, yet rewarding, 18 day journey for all of us. I'll be happy to be able to sleep in my own bed tonight. It's been a long time. The mother of all blog entries will be posted this evening. Have a happy Monday!

My father's security team . . .

As some of you may know, my parents and brother are now making a visit to see their ex-pat son/brother in Polska land. After arriving on Thursday afternoon, it was good to get them back to my flat for some rest and relaxation. Both Mom and Dad had gotten some sleep on the plane with the help of medication. Dave didn't quite fare as well and spent most of the flight in airline purgatory watching a couple terrible movies. He does, however, commend the human resource department at KLM for their discerning eye when it comes to hiring flight attendants.

Day 1 involved some local sight-seeing in some blustery weather. The conditions were not conducive to enjoying a libation on the patios of Old Town. But we made the best of it and the beauty of Warsaw's public transport system was not lost on them. I think it gave them a feel for daily life in the big city and the assortment of characters encountered on the streets.

It was with some trepidation that I arranged for us to attend a Polish League soccer match that first evening. My dad declined to attend given the chilly night air and his recovery from pneumonia, but Mom and Dave braved the elements for a chance to see what Euros call "the elegant game". This would also be my first chance to watch a Legia contest, a team notorious for their rowdy fans.

The atmosphere did not dissappoint. We were able to mingle with the hoolies beneath the underpass near the stadium as they "pre-funked" with a few brews and some raucous chanting. My mother enjoyed the show of strength from the local policja. They, as always, made sure their presence was known, wearing their riot gear and stone-faced expressions.

In the end, the home team triumphed 3-0. Everybody was happy, no rioting ensued. I was relieved that we actually saw a match with more than 1 goal.

The next day, we all went out to the rugby match between the Warsaw Frogs and Kinsale RFC, a team from Cork, Ireland. It was a hard-hitting bruisefest but I was able to escape with a few minor abrasions. Sustaining a serious injury in front of your mother in a country with limited health care facilities would not have been the ideal situation. Now I can take a couple weeks off and prepare for the Warsaw 10's tourney in May.

The post-match social was of particular interest to my Dad as he got into the act by posing behind some tour virgins from the Irish team.

He was all too happy to pose for this picture. It's a classic. But Mom didn't quite enjoy the bawdy lyrics in some of the songs, but like she told one of my teammates "I've raised three boys, I've heard it all".

Dave had a great time meeting some guys from the Frogs, and raised a few toasts with the national beverage. Peer pressure has no age limit as he was encouraged to extend his night by the big Scotsman, Ian, Philo the Polish Hitman, and Oksana from the Ukraine.

The Minnesota contingent is currently visiting Krakow, the tourist center of Poland. Although a bit daunted by the language barrier, I am assured they will be alright. The itinerary calls for them to attend Auschwitz, the Wieliczka salt mine, and Wawel castle. They will be back tomorrow, and we head for the mother country, Slovenia, on Friday.

"I'm glad that David came with us. When you're not around, I count on him as my bodyguard." --James Gaspersich

I'm sure the coming week will bring more quotable gems. Thanks for reading!

The longest weekend . . .

The exhaustion from my own version of The Amazing Race last weekend has finally worn off. Seeing four cities in four countries in four days was certainly an ambitious travel schedule but I had company in from Canada so I wanted to make sure we had plenty to do. Nobody wants to see the same museums, churches, and pubs for ten straight days. I'm a bit of a novice at this amateur travel agent stuff but I think it's better to have too much stuff to see than too little.

Tracy, my guest from Ottawa, and I flew into Vilnius, Lithuania last Thursday night to begin the long weekend. After spending the chilly spring day wandering around the city visiting everything from the castle tower overlooking the city, to Frank Zappa's head on a stick we had a great dinner at the Crowne Plaza where we were staying.
One of the great things about the post-communist economy is that prices for upscale hotels are still relatively inexpensive. A guy like me, who would never be able to stay in luxury digs back in America, can afford to splurge once in awhile here.

One of the highlights in Vilnius was ducking into this non-descript alleyway and finding this local bar staffed by an aged babushka and her son who seemed a few cards short, in our opinion. But then again, I've probably had the same said about me.

He was more than happy to spend some time watching "Pimp My Ride" with Latvian subtitles and occasionally pour me a pint into a glass which looked unused for months. The chances of my companion getting herself a nice glass of red wine were zero but I think she enjoyed her local concoction.

Arriving by bus in Riga, Latvia the next afternoon, we saw a definite contrast from sleepy little Vilnius. Riga was a much more cosmopolitan city bustling with youthful energy. The narrow, Prague-like streets wound between Art Nouveau style buildings in the Old Towne section. Enormous palaces of worship seemed to dot every block. The Russian Orthodox churches in Eastern Europe are amazingly ornate not just for their towering golden domes, but also the brilliantly colorful murals contained inside.

Ending the day with a spectacular view of the sunset from the Skyline Bar atop our hotel, we were both sorry our time in Riga was coming to a close. The next morning arrived much too quickly and before we could wipe the sleep from our eyes, we were on a bus to Tallinn, Estonia. Forunately, we commandeered the area in the back and dozed off while sprawling across six seats, only awaking for the requisite bathroom break in rural Latvia and for passport approval into our next country.

The place we booked in Tallinn gave me a newfound appreciation for renting a flat instead of a hotel room the next time you need accomodations overseas. There's just something more welcoming about having your own kitchen, washing machine, and living room for use during your stay. Granted, I think the only thing we used was a knife and some glassware but had I the desire, it's nice to know I could've whipped up a four course meal.

Estonia had a Scandinavian feel to it given it's proximity to Finland. Prices were a bit higher and clothing a bit furrier. I was tempted to acquire a genuine reindeer-skin viking helmet as a memento but that impulse quickly faded when faced with the outrageous pricetag. It looked quite festive but how often in daily life does dress code call for barbarian headgear? Chances of me attending a Minnesota Vikings' game were already slim before I moved to Poland. I believe they have to be in the playoffs to play in the month of December when I'm home for Christmas. The odds of that happening are longshot at best. Sorry Grandma, I know you're a big fan. At least the Twins have started their season.

After spending Easter in Tallinn wandering around the city, up the hill to the castle and visiting the "Barbie dream house" presidential palace, we spent the last evening of the long weekend curled up on the couch enjoying cheese and wine before heading out to a recommended seafood restaurant nearby. The food was delicious, but we were exhausted. The fact that it was Easter Sunday meant that their was no chance to check out the nightlife in the old town. I'm not sure I would've had the stamina to explore the evening culture of Estonia, anyway.

Our journey to Helsinki the next morning was a ride aboard the Super Seacat fast jet ferry. It was a fierce looking vessel but the irony was not lost upon seeing souvenir t-shirts bearing a picture of the boat and the mascot; a threatening long-haired tabby cat. I presumed that the boat was owned by a devoted pet owner who acquired it only after losing his beloved seafaring feline in a tragic yachting accident. Who else would name a multi-million dollar cruiser after a fluffy land-loving mammal?

There is not much to say about Helsinki. Picture any big city and then put a Finnish flag on top of every building. That's about it. In fact, I stole the picture from National Geographic's website. I just couldn't find anything quintissentially "Finnish" about the city. However, I am proud to say that I achieved one of my life dreams there . . . I took a sauna in Finland. Granted, it was at the Crowne Plaza and we snuck in under the guise of being hotel guests, but all the authentic Finnish saunas were closed for the holiday. The best things in life are still free.

The worst thing about Finland is they charge you 1 Euro to relieve yourself in most public places. Now I can see why the place is so clean. The "urination tax" must raise huge amounts of revenue from Finns, a people renowned for their love of alcohol. And I am not just basing this belief on my interactions with Finlanders in northern Minnesota. Last year, alcohol was the leading cause of death among Finnish teens. Alcohol-related dehydration in a sauna can kill you without warning, I guess.

Big things on the horizon . . . my mom, dad, and younger brother Dave are making their first (of many I hope) visit to Polska next week. Also, my first taste of rugby on foreign soil occurs tomorrow when the Warsaw Frogs take on the Wath Warriors Vets and the Maidstone Vets. Both teams are from England so destruction and debauchery will ensue, guaranteed. The pound buys a lot of beer over here.

Thanks for reading!

P.S.
Spring in Warsaw is quite beautiful. See for yourself . . . this picture was taken by Tracy last week in Łazienki Park. This place was featured on the last Amazing Race when they went through Poland, but they didn't show any of the natural beauty in the city's greenspace. Oh well, it keeps out the riffraff.



P.S.S. Here's a cool video about Ice Cricket tournaments in Estonia. Brrrrrr!

Odd sights . . .

Remember the sample lady at the grocery store? Usually she would stand near the frozen food section hawking Tombstone pizzas or frozen egg rolls. As a kid, I would wander around from aisle to aisle looking for free snack food from these blue-haired biddys. After making multiple passes, gorging myself, and ending up with flaps of burnt skin hanging from the roof of my mouth, my presence would be met with a disapproving sigh and a raised eyebrow.

Here in Poland, where they take advertising to a new level, you will usually find the sample table staffed by cute young women dressed up in costumes. I don't know what Supergirl has to do with the prevention of tooth decay but she certainly makes one priortize his dental health. Maybe a woman can tell me if stick-thin models with giant lips on their heads really make them want to buy lipstick.

Imagine my surprise last Friday evening when I happened upon a display of Ukrainian vodka, complete with free samples. After knocking one back, the pleasant young man insisted that I try a second one. I reluctantly accepted only to hide behind the wine section, wretching uncontrollably. Does anybody remember "bitter beer face"? Well, Ukrainian vodka face is much more severe.

I didn't think anybody back home would believe they were giving out vodka shots across from the meat section so I requested a picture for the Chronicle. Not only was he happy to oblige, but he even posed for the picture and offered me libation numer trzy. That's Polish for "number three". I politely declined as there was a line of thirsty Poles forming behind me.

Add "Guy Playing a Chair" to the list of odd street performers.
Does one just wake up one morning and have an "Aha!" moment . . . "I know that I'm devoid of any redeeming talent whatsoever, so how 'bout I play this old chair? And for extra comedic value, I will tape a picture of George Bush's head to the front of the chair. This will knock 'em dead at the Centrum metro station."


Finally, I had seen this odd sight a week ago, but neglected to have my camera since I was walking to rugby practice. I was so happy to capture this moment on Sunday because nobody would believe me if I told them I saw a wooly mammoth walking through Pole Mokowtowskie Park. Watching dogs doing what dogs do in parks and then encountering this lumbering beast was quite amusing. Varsovians don't clean up after their pets so there is a surplus of brown landmines in the city. I'm sure production is doubled whenever the furry elephant walks on by.


Big trip this weekend . . . a whirlwind tour of four cities in four days. Crazy yes, but I am doing research for you, my prospective guests. The travel guinea pig is constantly on the lookout for great weekend / day trips from Warsaw. I'll make the mistakes in trying to do too much now, so you won't have to later.

A special greeting to Nate's Mom, a new reader.

Happy Easter!