Back from the Baltics . . .

I've returned from a couple weeks of traveling around Eastern Europe with my friends Kyle, from Boise, and Joe, from way back in the kindergarten days at St. Leo's elementary. I had a wonderful time shirking the inevitable responsibilities that will come along with my enrollment in a graduate program this summer but am looking forward to my arrival in Madrid tomorrow. Until the Chronicle establishes communication from there, we hope you enjoy this video slideshow of our Baltic journey . . .

Father's Day . . .

Tomorrow is Father's Day, and frankly, I can't remember the last time my dad and I were together on this occasion. This would not sit well with most, and I do feel regret that I can't be sitting with Dad in a boat on some serene Minnesota lake enjoying the porketta sandwiches my mother so lovingly prepared. In fact, as I write this, my two brothers, Paul and Dave, are out fishing with him and, I hope, reeling in a mess of walleye to be stored in the freezer until I arrive in August.

As anybody who lives far away from home can attest, you have to remind yourself that your parents want you to spread your wings and build a life for yourself. If that wasn't the case, I would be living in a basement apartment back in Hibbing with my extensive Stars Wars action-figure collection. I'm also certain that I wouldn't enjoy the relationship I have now with my folks. It's ironic that the farther I've moved away, the closer we've become.

The greatest joy I've felt since moving here was the opportunity shepherd my parents and Dave around Poland for almost three weeks and get them safely back to the states. I had this tremendous sense of pride that I was able to do this for two people who have given me so much throughout life. It was almost like that "Look at me, Dad!" feeling you get when you learn how to ride a bike, catch a pop fly, or yes, reel in your first fish. I could tell that they knew I was going to be alright over here after all.

On Father's Day tomorrow, don't forget to tell your Dad what he means to you. Too often we spend so much time seeking his approval that we forget to tell him how proud we are of the things that he has done. But more importantly, tell him how much you value him as a person, role model, and a friend. I love you Dad.

In Europe, they take their "futbol" seriously. To my American readers, you may know this by another name, soccer. Whatever the name, it still bores me to death and I believe the only reason it enjoys such immense world-wide popularity is because you don't need much equipment to play. I'm sure they are still making soccer balls out of pig bladders in some parts of the world.

This weekend, the Eurocup 2008 tournament to determine European soccer supremacy kicks off in Vienna. Poland has qualified and will face Germany as their first round opponent on Sunday. You don't need the History channel to understand the precarious relationship between these two countries. Poles are still slightly bitter about that whole Nazi invasion / Holocaust thing. And the Germans try to distance themselves as much as possible from this tragic chapter in its country's history and are sensitive when it comes up in casual conversation.


So you can imagine the controversy generated by the cover of the popular Polish tabloids, Super Express and Fakt, a few days ago. They brutally depict Polish coach
Leo Beenhakker beheading the German captain wearing a Prussian helmet. On the other cover, he hoists the heads of the captain and coach as blood drips from his gruesome trophies. So much for sensitivity in journalism.

The funny thing is that Beenhakker is Dutch. In my limited experiences with the Dutch, I have found them to be a fun-loving people who would never behead somebody. Beenhakker apologized to the German people for an "awful thing done by weird and dirty and sick people." Well stated Coach. Should be a good match, but Poland is the overwhelming underdog in this one since they have never defeated the Germans in international play.

Have a good weekend!

The fine art of wearing a Speedo.

With the arrival of swimsuit season, we at the Chronicle want to post some friendly advice when it comes to choosing men's beachwear. Here are some rules to follow when deciding whether or not to squeeze into that skimpy Speedo:

Don't do it if . . .

1. You are not a competitive swimmer.
2. You can't see your feet.
3. When you're significant other runs her fingers through your hair, she's rubbing your back.

The above rules do not apply if you meet any of the following criteria:

1. You are German. (but you must be on holiday in Croatia)*




2. You are Polish (but you have to be living in Poland)*



3. You are an American wearing skis.
(CAUTION: This video is NOT to be viewed by small children!)



Thanks to my friend Ethan back in Boise for inspiring this blog entry. He breaks all the rules when it comes to pulling off the pink banana hammock. I'm so glad that he wasn't wearing this when we skied Brundage back in January.

*I took the photo of the German back in 2005. The other magnificent specimen was captured on film at Powsin Park a few days ago when we took the kids there for a field trip. I was so proud of them for not gawking like their teacher did.

The best things about growing up.

Puberty. The word strikes fear into every middle school student's heart. And those of us who have lived through this adolescent phenomenon can testify to the horror of these "changes" they talk about in health class. Yes, it's that time again for me. No, I'm not actually going through a second bout of pubescence, but as a health teacher, I get to discuss it in great detail each trimester. Recently, I asked my students to list their Top Ten Great Things About Growing Up. Here are some amusing responses:

1. Freedom from strict rules.
2. Driving. (They've obviously never sat in a Warsaw traffic jam.)
3. No school!
4. Go pubs/clubs to drink. (Already thinking about this at age 11? Scary!)
5. Getting to go to R-rated movies.
6. Going to the mall by yourself.
7. Buying your own choice of pets.
8. Getting a fun job. (My kids think at least 60% of people love their job.)
9. Having a better body shape / bigger and more muscles. (Every adult has muscles!)
10. Getting a tattoo. (Can't wait to get that Euro symbol on my bicep.)

"Shall we see the sea?" she said sheepishly.

Back from a wonderful tour of the Polish seaside towns of Gdansk and Sopot. Gdansk comes in a close second to Krakow as coolest city in Poland. It holds a special significance in Polish history as being the birthplace of the Solidarity labor union, which was the first of its kind behind the Iron Curtain. I've heard they have an excellent museum dedicated to "Solidarnosc'" and how it led to the end of Communism in Eastern Europe, but I opted out of this visit in deference to moja dziwczyna, Luiza. It would've been torture for her to submit to a Polish history lesson on such a beautiful weekend. In her words, "I don't need to spend such time walking around with huge pictures of Lech Walesa staring at me." Point taken : ) I really have no frame of reference for comparison. Maybe it would be like me visiting Samuel Gompers Park in Chicago or the Teamsters Freight Transportation Museum. I don't really think the Teamsters did much to alter the course of world events, however.

Sopot, the quaint city with white sand beaches and no shipyard was where we chose to stay for the four day holiday weekend. It is also home of Molo, the largest wooden pier in Europe. Every city is always trying to claim something as the biggest, longest, highest, etc. In fact, there is a great website dedicated to roadside attractions in the U.S. called The Gallery of Huge Beings. For some reason, my home state of Minnesota is contains more than its fair share of fiberglass statues.

It was a great opportunity to unwind before making the final push toward summer. We did a whole helluva lot of nothing productive, one could say. It was all one continuous stretch of walking, talking, sitting, people watching, basking, eating, and drinking.

Oh, I did get to watch the Sopot 7's rugby tournament and also invented a new game called "Polish or not Polish". It's funny to hear Luiza describe for me the reasons she thinks somebody looks "typical Polish" while I explain the importance of footwear and dental health on determining country of origin.

Before I go, I would like to plug a blog I've been reading called The Polandian. This contains some really insightful commentary on Polish culture and also links to obsure youtube vids that have some relevance to my adopted homeland. Maybe I shouldn't tell you about it so I am free to propagate some its literary material as my own. If Big Dan Bergan and Penny Tingstad are reading this . . . I'm only kidding! Plagiarism is a serious crime kids.

Here's a great clip of heavy metal legends Iron Maiden playing a Polish wedding back in 1984. Thanks to the guys (and gals?) at Polandian:

The mortgage crisis and the price of a piwo.

Let's jump in the Way Back Machine and set the dial to August of 2006. A wide-eyed American is in his first month of employment at AS-Dub and life is good. The benefits of working overseas are quickly realized due in no small part to a tax-free income in dollars, rent paid by the school, and a relatively cheap cost of living when compared to life back in the US of A.

"Way back then" you could buy 3.1 zlotys (Polish currency) for $1.00 and a pint of beer at one of those clubs with no-necked bouncers and a velvet rope cost around 10 zloty (about $3.20). It felt good to know that every fine restaurant and swanky bar in Warsaw was accessible to the common man. Well, maybe not to the common man, but to the common foreigner.

My rental allowance also covered my monthly living expenses (about $900). I even had a little bit left over to pay my electric bill. Not one penny of my apartment cost came out of my pocket. *sigh* I was living the high life.







I know what you're thinking. Next, he's going to give some pitiful sob story about the crash of the dollar due to the mortgage crisis and how life is sooooo tough now. WRONG! On the contrary, I am still very much in love with life over here, thank you very much. I am dating an amazing woman, fulfilling my travel dreams, and working at a world-class school.

The point of this financial analysis is to give you some perspective of how fortunes rise and fall given the fate of the U.S. economy. You read the Kielbasa because I hope you find it interesting, right? The correlation between Joe Blow trying to afford a $400,000 4 bedroom house on a $50,000 salary and the skyrocketing price of beer in Poland is nothing if not fascinating.






So fast forward to present-day Warsaw. Today, the currency is trading at 2.17 zloty for $1.00. The same beer is costing around 15 zloty ($6.90) due to Warsaw's deluded vision of being on par with other European Union capitals. This represents an astonishing 215% increase in 18 months. Just typing these numbers makes my pulse quicken and brow sweaty.

If the cost of a pint wasn't tough enough to absorb, I am now paying an additional $344 to supplement what the school gives me for my rent. Alright, it's not so bad since it only averages out to an extra $98 / month since I moved here. Damn . . . I'm usually such an upbeat person but now I wouldn't mind having a Pez dispenser full of Prozac. Okay, on the bright side, there is a place down the street where I can still find a 5 zloty piwo so upon paying my rent every month I can go drown my sorrows while planning my next travel destination.

I listened to an interesting episode of This American Life from NPR that explains the mortgage crisis using stories of ordinary people. Check it out here. By the way, I never thought I would become so addicted to NPR. Just one more thing I have in common with my parents as I grow older. I remember when the only thing we had in common was a last name. ; )

I hope all my stateside readers enjoy the Memorial Day weekend. Take the time to remember the true reason for Monday's holiday. If your here in Polska, enjoy the long four-day break from your daily grind. If you're not of the religious ilk, find out why you have a holiday so you can impress all of your Catholic friends. Na razie!