Making history in Albania . . .

Last year around this time, the Chronicle reported from frigid Ukraine after taking the ASW middle school cross country team to the capital, Kiev. As we strive to push the touristic envelope by squiring you, the reader, to the deepest, darkest, least visited corners of Europe as well as the more popular destinations, the Kielbasa sports editor was sent to Tirana, Albania a couple weeks ago.

"Why Tirana?" you may be asking, as well as a few parents concerned about their child's safety. Well, think of CEESA (the Central Eastern European Schools Association) as a sports league, in the same vein as major league baseball except without the steroids and exorbitant payrolls. Schools in Warsaw, Moscow, Prague, Budapest, Istanbul and Bucharest have outstanding facilities for hosting the team sports, i.e. soccer, basketball, volleyball, and softball. These are the New York Yankees and Boston Red Sox of international schools, which operate on healthy budgets but charge twelve dollars for a beer and a hot dog. Oh wait, that's still baseball.

International schools in cities such as Vilnius, Tallin, Riga, Zagreb, and Belgrade are the small market teams, the Minnesota Twins, Milwaukee Brewers, and Kansas City Royals if you will. They lack the facilities to host the major tournaments so they take turns hosting smaller events such as tennis, Math Counts, Knowledge Bowl and Speech and Debate. Oh yeah, and cross country too. It doesn't take much to host a cross country meet except a big park, some road construction cones, and a few volunteers.

So consider a school like Tirana International to be the Nashville Sounds, a AAA affiliate of MLB. They want to be invited to the major leagues but have to prove themselves worthy by hosting an event. Which is why the Chronicle sports department was witness to the first ever cross country race in Albania's history:





One of the more fascinating, albeit tragic, reminders of Albania's isolationist past are the bunkers that dot the landscape from the coastal beaches to the rugged mountain terrain. Everywhere you look, there are small, cylindrical concrete shelters large enough for only one man. Albania's Stalinist dictator, Enver Hoxha, commissioned the construction of 600,000 refuges, enough for 25% of the country's population. He feared invasion not only from the West, but from his ally, the Soviet Union as well. Check out some of the beachside huts of Albania:

Frogs pick up the Czech and another Capital's Cup

Some of you may or may not know that one of my hobbies is playing old man rugby with the Warsaw Frogs. I really shouldn't characterize this brand of the English sport with such a condescending denomination since being 34 makes me one of the club's elder statesmen. Truth be told, there are a large number of quality players from around the world making up the squad. They just happen to have landed in Poland's capital for a variety of reasons, be it love of country, a good woman, or money.

One could go as far as saying that the Frogs are a mainstay of the social scene for ex-pats in Warsaw. There are around sixty guys involved in various team functions, be it actual matches or just hoisting the occasional pint while wearing team gear. The annual Warsaw Tens tournament in May is attended by more than a dozen teams from around Europe and as far away as Tahiti and the United States. But our season culminates in the fall at the Capital's Cup, hosted by either Moscow, Vienna, Warsaw, Budapest, or this year's team, the Prague Barbarians.

Since all touring sides live by the credo: "What goes on tour, stays on tour.", I will provide only a partial glimpse into the weekend. Defending the title with ease (bulletin board material for the archrival Moscow Dragons)after only allowing one try to be scored against us in five matches, the Frogs hoisted their third consecutive cup. Amazingly enough, this ugly mug remained unscathed by the usual contusions beneath my eyes. My only badge of honor this year was a nasty spike-shaped bruise upon my derriere.

The real fun began after the actual playing of the matches. Every year the team braintrust chooses a different theme for the trip. This year's was a parody of the world famous French bicycle race. But instead of conquering the Alps and Pyrenees, the "riders" in the 2008 Le Tour De Frogs spilled into the streets of Prague clad in various shades of spandex and brandishing a thirst for adventure rather than pain and agony.

For those unfamiliar with the sport, the physiques required to play rugby vary from the dainty, waif-like backs to the robust members of the scrum who never miss a meal. Hilarity ensued when the whole traveling party of twenty four guys were squeezing into outfits which left little to the imagination.

The rest of the weekend is contained within the classified files at the Chronicle, only to be revealed upon court order.

What the hell is going on over there?

It's clips like this of angry mobs that make me very scared! Are there really that many angry mobs back in the U.S.? Alright, I realize that he's not exactly speaking to a gathering of MENSA but it really makes me feel warm and cozy to be far far away from people like this:



My apologies for not posting in a couple weeks, but with the three day weekend in Prague, defending the Warsaw Frogs' title as the best ex-pat rugby team in Central / Eastern Europe and then the four day junket to bizarrely picturesque Tirana, Albania for the CEESA cross country meet, I have been kind of spent.
You can look for a more extensive update in the next few days as things return to normal around here. For now, I will just give you a couple teaser pics from Prague and Albania. See you in a little bit . . . oh, and head on over to Danielle's Living the Good Life blog for some great pics of mountain biking in the Andes. Pretty damn cool stuff.













ALBANIA! The country's motto: It's really not as bad as you'd think!

Weekend in the mountains . . .

Last weekend, the Chronicle staff decided to get out of town and head for the hills, errr, I mean mountains. "Poland has mountains? I did not know that." Yes, dear readers, this country does contain some topographical features but unfortunately it is necessary to take a six hour train ride to see them. So charge up your iPod, buy the latest issue of the Economist, and take along a beautiful blonde traveling companion. We are headed to Zakopane (zah-ko-PAH-nee).

When you talk about this famous mountain resort town, the first thing that comes to mind for me is the legendary Oscypek. This is a cheese made out of salted sheep's milk and sold only in the Tatra Mountains of Poland. The process in making this highly-addictive dairy product sounds relatively simple. You grab the nearest sheep,whisper sweet nothings in its ear, milk it, make some cottage cheese, throw it in a fancy little wooden form for a night or two, and finally smoke it in a hut for a couple weeks. Okay, maybe it's not so simple but the result is absolutely mouth-watering and worth all the effort.

As you walk through the city, there are carts everywhere selling Oscypek. It costs about forty cents for a golf ball sized chunk. Double that price if you want it cooked over an open flame and served just above the melting point. Excuse me, I need to wipe the drool off my keyboard.

After devouring about twenty pieces of smoked cheese, it was out to dinner for some lamb smothered in more cheese. It felt like Thanksgiving in September as we waddled back up the street to our hotel. Fate had also smiled on us upon checking in. We were informed that a tour group had take over the whole 2nd floor so we were upgraded to a suite.

I had to chuckle upon learning that our fellow guests were all retirees from upstate New York. One couple was even decked out head to toe in Buffalo Bills gear on Sunday morning. Hey, whatever works for ya I guess, since the Bills are 4-0 so far this season.

The next morning we spent a couple hours waiting in line for the gondola to take us up to the top of the 6,500 ft Kasprowy Wierch. I think we could've climbed to the top in that amount of time, but there was so much snow near the summit, some skiers were getting lots of early season turns.

After coming down from the peak, we had just enough time to quaff a couple pints, and of course more cheese, before jumping back on the rails. It had been a beautiful but quick weekend getaway . . . Next week, we will report from Prague, site of this weekend's Capital's Cup Rugby tournament. Do widzenia!

Don't piss off Letterman . . .

Thanks to my Mom for giving me heads up on this one. Some really funny stuff from Dave last night. The guy was on fire! Enjoy . . .

T.V. Guide

I've been surviving without television for quite some time now. Despite being one of those kids who lived for the Thursday night lineup on NBC (Cosby Show, Different World, Cheers, and the very underrated Night Court), I was able to wean myself off the tube during my years spent in Boise. This stemmed more from my inability to afford basic cable on a teacher's salary than from some conscious decision to put down the remote and participate in life. Okay, I did spring for high-speed internet and spend an alarming amount of time clicking the mouse, so to speak.

Viewing choices here in Poland are limited for the linguistically challenged. You can catch American movies on every night, but must train your ear to ignore the monotone recitation of the dreaded "lektor": the deep-voiced Pole who is doing his best impersonation of James Earle Jones. Unlike countries in western Europe, where they hire individual artists for overdubbing each actor's lines, there are identical utterances heard for each role.

However, there is one thing I enjoy about Polish television. They have no qualms about showing liberal amounts of skin, no matter what time of day. Last night, for example, I was treated to at least a full two minutes of Demi Moore's silicon enhanced torso (cleaning it up for the younger readers)in a scene from her 1996 smash hit about exotic dancing with Burt Reynolds. And of course, dropping the dreaded "F-bomb" during prime time is certainly no big f'ing deal. It's akin to me appearing on Sesame Street and saying "K*#@a!", the mother of all Polish swear words. In deference to my Polish readers, I will refrain from such profanity in future postings.

Yes, you will never see a Nipplegate scandal here in Poland. As Luiza says, there are some "pretty strange American rules" about television. "Not German, not British, not Polish, ONLY American rules." I think this probably pertains to the rest of Europe too.

Two programs that I have thoroughly enjoyed recently, despite the language barrier, are "Mam Talent" (you have talent) and "You Can Dance". Yes, I realize that these are blatant rip-offs of shows produced in both England and the U.S., but they are infinitely more entertaining. Like their predecessors, both of these shows rely on the delusional for comic relief. We all derive some twisted pleasure out of seeing somebody make a fool out of themselves and then become enraged because they believe the judges just can't see how really gifted they are. Only mom and dad, or some incredibly desperate life partner still believes in them.

Here are a couple clips from Mam Talent. The first is of my dark horse candidate for bringing home the title, Sssssnake. Pay attention to the Gene Simmons inspired tongue-flicking. He made it through to the next round. All he needs to do to push him over the top is swallow a live field mouse on stage. It would be Game Over for all the other contestants. Ssssnake, if you're a reader of the Chronicle, I am a big fan! Oooops, no more youtube clip, but you can find the vid HERE.

Of course, there was the obligatory little girl with the big voice act. These always make the judges cry. She really is cute, but I don't think she holds a candle to Britney Spears on Star Search:


As for "You Can Dance", here is my dark horse contestant, Justyna. The judges loved her, ahem, "spunk", so much that they kept a running dialogue with her for five minutes. I think these two guys have been hanging out at the Bulgarian Embassy in downtown Warsaw.

But the man to beat is Jakub, who made the judges cry. He's gotta shave the awful peach fuzz beard if he wants to win. It's as bad as my attempts at facial hair. Okay, almost. Have a good weekend!

Deleted Scenes . . .

Sitting home sick today. If there's one thing about Polish docs, it's that they always err on the side of caution and usually recommend AT LEAST 3 days off, no matter what your ailment. I hope this is the one and only day I need for the antibiotics to destroy these little sinus infection bugs.

Congrats to my cousin Chad who got married last weekend. Here's a pic of all the cousins at the wedding. Click on it for a closer look. They had a photo booth which certainly allowed for some great candids. Looks like everybody is having a great time. Wish I could've been there!

I rescued a few short clips and pics from my camera and decided to throw them together in a short video. It's just a little window into the last couple months. Summer with the family, beach rugby, school field trip, and the George Clinton concert. Don't get too dizzy during the bicycling portion . . . I did. Or maybe it's just my stuffed up sinuses.