Fall break in Mazury

The Kielbasa is on holiday this week up in northern Poland, enjoying the explosion of fall color and solitude of a cabin in the woods. My friend Murph was generous enough to invite me along for a week-long retreat to the Mazury Lake District. The parents of one of his past students have given him anytime access to their private lake house for the last couple years.

I know Murph is one "helluva" kindergarten teacher but he must work some serious magic because this place is truly spectacular. The house (and stable for the horses) sits on a private lake surrounded by 80 acres of forest. Not a bad place to kick back, eat a lot of fried food and down some piwo.

As always, there was no shortage of unusual scenery in the rural Polish countryside. For fans of "The Food Bus" back in Warsaw (see January entry "Late Night Grub"), some enterprising purveyors of roadside homecooking bring you . . . The Food Jet! I am not kidding. On the way up here, we passed an old passenger jet converted into a fully operational cafe. It was closed on Sunday but I think a visit on the way back home must be done. I will keep you posted . . . thanks for reading.

To the polls for the Poles!

It's election day here in Poland. The "do-over" will become reality today as voters will try to elect a new parliament that will actually put this nation on a progressive course toward economic reform. For the last two years, the only thing that has been getting done is the ongoing witchhunt for former Communist informants in the current government. Oh yeah, and the occasional sex scandal and relentless crusade against homosexuality. Wow! It's just like being back home again! But I will leave "Toe-tappin' Larry" for another time.

There is a paranoia within the current administration, headed by the Kaczynski twins, Lech and Jaroslaw. The Prime Minister, Jaroslaw, will be gone tomorrow, we can only hope. Polling indicates a 17 point deficit so there will be a huge uproar if he isn't ousted. His brother, the President, will be around for a couple more years, but he doesn't wield as much power as our boy, George.

Enjoy this video that pokes fun at "the duck brothers". This moniker is derived from their last name, which is similar to kaczka, the Polish word for duck. We, here at the Chronicle, also think they look a bit like waterfowl with their protruding upper lip. Quack quack! On a related note, this year I introduced my cross country team to the phrase "I stepped on a duck".

Chicken Kiev!

One of the many perks of teaching overseas is the opportunity to travel internationally as part of my coaching duties. This is my second year coaching middle school cross country and it is such a refreshing change from the varsity level back in the States. The practices are only two days a week compared to six, and the season last for only 6 weeks. In Idaho, I would start coaching during the dog days of early August and complete the season around Halloween. Also, instead of traveling to a different city for meets every week, we culminate all of our hard work with a trip to a different international school.

This year, we were fortunate to take a trip to Kiev, Ukraine. Since declaring independence from the former Soviet Union in 1991, this country has been divided. Those that live in the West want to forge a closer bond with Europe, and eventually obtain EU membership, and those that live in the East long for the days when they were one with Mother Russia. In fact, one of the most striking monuments in Kiev is the Mother Motherland Statue commemorating the Soviet loss of over 20 million people in World War II.

Kiev has also been called "the Rome of Orthodox Christianity" since this religion traces much of its early history to the churches built there. They certainly are impressive structures with multiple gilded domes dotting the city skyline. The brightly colored facades hint at the stunningly brilliant murals inside depicting the saintly deeds of the church founders.

But for me, what was most fascinating about Kiev was the ubiquitous presence of organized crime. Large black luxury cars and SUVs with tinted windows moved slowely up and down the main streets within the city. Upon parking, there would always be a cadre of burly, neckless thugs wearing earpieces that would surround the vehicle before the occupant exited. I'm not saying that just because you own an ultra-expensive car and have bodyguards, you are affiliated with the mob, but my tour guide informed me that 200 people control 90% of the wealth in Ukraine. It takes a lot of greased palms to acquire all that power in such a short time. And corruption breeds poverty while poverty, in turn, breeds resentment. I'm thinking that these guys need a lot of protection and also the status symbols that make the resentful impoverished people like me remember where my place is.

My colleague, Rachel, and I were lucky to get an up-close look at a couple of these cars outside the restaurant where the coaches' dinner was being held. The bodyguards were even kind enough to let us pose for a picture. Even the Ukrainian mafia is kind to tourists.

Politics is definitely a taboo topic of conversation in Ukraine. I tried to get some perspective on the state of the government from Mila, our tour guide. This woman has been living in Kiev since she was a little girl and has seen it all. Elections had only been held a few weeks before and she said that it was too soon for her to be commenting on them. However, I have a comment. I want to congratulate Ukraine on electing one of the most stunningly beautiful prime ministers in world history. At age 48, Yulia Tymoshenko shatters the mold of what a powerful woman should look like. I applaud the Ukrainian people for putting her in power even though she doesn't exude authority like the Thatchers and Merkels before her.

One of the stops on our tour was a walk through the park that sits across from the parliamentary building. Since 2004, political lobbyists have been camped inside tents on the park's lawn. The number of tents has fallen from a high of 20,000 in 2004, around the time of the pro-west Orange Revolution. Only a few dozen communist sympathizers have kept up their vigil near the capital. They really hold no allegiance to any of the 38 parties that hold offices, but instead are paid to "rabble-rouse" for the highest bidder, usually the shady oligarchs (Putin lovers) on the eastern side of the country.


The President, Victor Yushchenko, sends his kids to Pechersk International, the school that hosted the cross country meet. Apparently, he is married to a Ukrainian-American and they wanted a bilingual education. People I talked with at the school described how much of a distraction it can be to have armed guards outside their classrooms even though their is a sign clearly posted in front telling you to check your weapons at the gate. In case you've forgotten, Yushchenko was the guy that had his face disfigured from dioxin poisoning during the 2004 elections. They play by a different set of rules in the "Wild East".

Thanks for reading . . . only 8 more weeks until I am back on American soil! Check out some pics of the Motherland (Ukraine that is):

Run Warsaw!

Remember the movie Forrest Gump? One of my favorite parts is when he just kept running and running and running. After a few weeks, people start following Forrest as he crosses the country and then runs back to his home in Alabama. He is given credit for starting the jogging craze of the 70's, and launching the fitness boom, spawning our obsession with burning calories or limiting their intake.

Here in Poland, the quest for self-improvement has lagged behind a few decades. There just isn't that much of a need for exercise when people are concerned with getting ahead in the new economy, or, to be more succinct, just getting to and from work. This usually involves walking, a novel concept that most of America has long forgotten. Combine this with the lack of fast food and the average Pole stays relatively svelte without the need for self-imposed physical torture.

Corporate giant, Nike, a genius at forecasting and even manufacturing trends has decided that Poles need to get fit. The last few years, they have invested a significant chunk of the swoosh fund in putting on Run Warsaw, a 5k / 10 K road race.

The entry fee is only 25 zloty (about $9)and includes a sweet tech fabric T-shirt and a week long membership at a local fitness chain. This takes me back to the good old days in the early 90's when you could enter Grandma's Marathon for a mere $20. And I could usually count on my loving mother to pick up the tab. Now, I don't think you can find many road races back home that are under $25.

This brilliant marketing scheme has certainly paid dividends for Phil Knight and company. The race was filled to capacity with 20,000 participants eager to see if they could finish the 3.1 mile distance. Most decided to forego the 10k, as I'm sure this was a first-time road race for many.

Anyway . . . here are some pics. In the spirit of non-conformity, we decided to funk things up a bit and give our Nike shirts a bit of added flair. You have to do something to stand out among such a huge crowd.

Rugby World Cup report . . . video blog!

Okay, this is going give you a better glimpse of Scotland than anything I could write. Sorry about colorful language! Thanks for visiting the site!

Roadtrippin' . . .

Sorry about the delay on the Scotland World Cup Rugby report. Needless to say, it exceeded all expectations and has to rank as one of the best experiences I've had thus far in Europe. The atmosphere of an international rugby match is electric but it is also a more civilized type of fun than a soccer contest. The fact that this tournament occurs once every four years makes it that much more special.

I worked for a couple hours last night on a youtube video encompassing the weekend in Scotland, but due to technical glitches it isn't ready yet. I will try to finish it on Sunday but I'm meeting my good friend Scrote in the former East Berlin this evening for a weekend of Cold War era debauchery. I can make no promises!

Tonight, I will fire up an Opel Corsa rental and head west to Germany. Everybody who's been to Berlin talks about how much history the city has. I remember watching this back in high school . . . try not get misty-eyed!

World Cup Rugby 2007

This weekend, a couple friends from work and I will be hopping on a plane to Glasgow, Scotland. From there we will drive to Edinburgh, home of Murrayfield Stadium and the Scottish Rugby Union. Sunday, the Scottish National Rugby team is taking on the All-Blacks from New Zealand. Many are predicting a lop-sided blowout in favor of the kiwis, who are also the pick of most to take home the Webb-Ellis Cup as tournament champions.

I've had this date circled on my calendar since I bought the tickets way back in March. I wonder how many kilts I will see among the 68,000 fans slated to attend.

The few Scotsmen I know are difficult to understand when sober. My computer translator is programmed to decipher 9 languages but drunken Scottish rugby fan is not one of them. I will have to make it a point to imbibe in the local spirit so I can be on the same wavelength as the rest of the fans.

It's going to be difficult not to overuse the phrase, "If it ain't Scottish, it's CRAP!" I will try everything in my power not to be annoying American tourist guy. As George Bush would say, that's going to be "hard work".


One of the traditions of the All-Blacks is the "haka". This is the traditional call to battle adopted from the Māori tribe in New Zealand. It is performed before every match and would definitely cause my bowels to release if I was facing off against these guys on the pitch: