Okay . . . a lot of random happenings floating around in the Kielbasa offices that need to be talked about. I will try to briefly touch on a wide variety of topics, some reaching as far back as July. Forgive me for selectively forgetting to publish thoughts on such important events as peeing on the jellyfish sting of a friend in Spain , the arrival of my friend Bag in Polska, and the Warsaw Frogs victorious defense of the Capital's Cup in Vienna.
Let's start with a two week holiday in Spain to finish off July. My friend Sean "I'm Irish, not English" Doyle was generous enough to invite me and a couple other lads down to his parents beachside villa in the southern town of Puerto de Mazzeron. On my way there, I flew into Barcelona and promptly had my ATM, card and phone "nicked", as the Brits say, on the first night in town. Following a frantic morning of filing a police report after waiting behind about a dozen other pickpocket victims, I had to head to the U.S. consulate to call my Mom and Dad back in Minnesota. Let's just say that I am one of the lucky ones who can always count on my parents to bail me out of trouble. Not everybody has that support at age 33.
After procuring some aid from the parents, via Western Union, I jumped on the next bus out of town, which just happened to be the one that took 9 hours to get to my destination. The day before they told me 4, but apparently that was the express bus. I was on the bus that stops in every city on the southern coast of Spain. Add the fact that the air conditioning was broken and you have occasion to use the Polish phrase: "Nie mam farta!" . . . Unlucky!
The rest of the time in Spain was spent learning why Spaniards are so happy. They get up late, start their work day around 10 AM, work until 2 PM, siesta until around 5:00, and then put in a few more evening hours before knocking off for dinner.
The busiest time of day in any supermarket is right before dinner. In Spain, this means that everybody heads there around 9:00 PM, right before closing. We tried to follow the same pattern without the interruptive hassle of work getting in the way. Dinner until 11:00, cocktail hour(s), a fruitless pursuit of local senoritas on the dance floor, and in bed around dawn. Up at noon, hit the beach by 2:00, rinse, lather, repeat. It is no longer a mystery why you don't see many Spanish immigrants.
The timing of our visit coincided with an invasion of jellyfish along the beaches in the south. Sean was the victim of a few stings from one of these nasty little critters, and I had to step in and save the day. For some reason, since I
am a science teacher, people think that I'm also Marlin Perkins or Jacque Couisteau reincarnated. It does give me a certain credibility when suggesting that human urine relieves the sting of coelenterates (see, I told you I knew scientific stuff!).
Without the internet to confirm or debunk this myth, he chose to let me, ahem, recycle some beer onto his arm. Strangely enough, he said that it helped relieve the pain somewhat. Just to be on the safe side, he also commandeered some sting relieving lotion from a couple locals. Of course, when I found an internet cafe, my scientific expertise was refuted by the all-knowing Google, but the bond between Sean and I remains.
Booking the flight to come see me in Polonia has been a challenge few have taken in my first year of living over here. After the Janici (two friends named Janice from Boise), Scrote, Tracy the Canuck, and my parents and brother, guests in my flat have only been random strangers. You need to read the previous post if you think that means I'm sleeping around. Now that I write it down, seven guests in my first year seems like a good start.
Year numer dwa (a little Polish to make sure you're focusing), started with a visit by my friend Bag, aka "Andrew O." (he won't let me use his full name for fear of retribution from his employers), and the only person to have survived living with me in three different locales during college. Unfortunately, he only had a week to see all of Eastern Europe. The office of tourism, here at the Chronicle, decided to focus on three countries in a week with the help of a rental car.
I met my old friend in the Krakow airport as we exchanged Polish greetings and a warm man hug. He had learned a few phrases on the 9 hour flight from Chicago, and even managed to squeeze in 4 hours of sleep, something I have found to be impossible. We then hailed a cab and checked into a hostel. No, folks, hostels aren't just for college backpackers. There are people of all ages looking for a cheap place to lay their head during the odd hours between pub crawls and castle tours.
After a couple days touring Krakow, we decided to make the spontaneous decision to point the car south toward Prague. This involved driving through the Polish countryside for most of the afternoon, but allowed us to soak up village scenery you just don't see out of a train window.
After a couple nights in Prague, our epic roadtrip brought us through Dresden, Germany across the border back into Poland and back to Warsaw on roads that make Minnesota Highway 169 seem like the autobahn. Once we were safely ensconced in familiar territory, I gave him a tour of ASW, and showed him the finer points of Warsaw's nightlife.
After the whirlwind week, I put Bag back on the train to Krakow and hibernated in my bed for a few days. It was exhausting packing that much fun into an all-too-brief time. But he seemed to enjoy himself and hopes to make a return visit for an extended stay.
A couple weeks ago, the Warsaw Frogs traveled to Austria for defense of their title as holders of the Capitals Cup. We faced teams from Vienna, Prague, Moscow, and Budapest. This would be my first time on an international tour with the
Frogs, a collection of mighty warriors hailing from all corners of the globe. It is a truly unique experience to be on the same team with players from the U.S, Canada, France, England, Wales, Ireland, Scotland, Germany, Poland, Spain, Sweden, South Africa, Australia, and New Zealand. I'm sure I probably missed a few countries, but you get the point. Most of us are ex-pats who either can't let go of the glory years past, or need an excuse to hit and get hit by other agressive Neandrathal types. Off the field, however, you'll never meet a more culturally refined group of gentlemen.
We fielded a strong squad this year, traveling 27 strong. This is a far cry from collegiate days at North Dakota State, when we'd load 15-17 players into 3 cars and hit the interstate to exotic destinations like Winona, Gustavus Adolphus, and Duluth. But we were much more durable back then. The men's game features harder hitting players with a few more pounds and the attitude to prove something.
The Frogs triumphed in their first three matches, rolling over Moscow, Prague, and Budapest. The defensive juggarnaut allowed only 1 try until the fourth match of the day when fatigue and substitutions resulted in a loss to the host squad, Vienna. However, we had already secured a spot in the final against Prague so this loss was a formality. In fact, it helped refocus the team for the final which we won in convincing fashion, 10-0. Okay, so it wasn't that convincing.
After the tourney ended, we retired to the hostel (see, not only college students!) and donned our formal evening attire. This consisted of veterans in superhero costumes, and tour virgins dressed as damsels in distress. The author got off easy, only required to dress as an effeminate cowboy, which I think was a reference to Brokeback Mountain. In rugby, the competition extends off the pitch to what we call "the third half". And the Frogs easily outdistanced the four other sides at the awards banquet, which was held at the Ottokringer Brewery.
Well, that is it for this week in Polska. If you have an appetite for more prose from abroad, check out my former colleague, Danielle Richert. She just relocated from Middleton, Idaho to an international school in Ecuador. Since she's an English teacher, please don't compare her flawless composition to the error-filled hack job usually found here. Her blog can be found here: www.deeanddee.blogspot.com
Thanks for reading!
